watching rainbows...

2008-02-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

STUPID ME.

2008-02-11T19:01:00.001+08:00

MY WONDERFUL SURPRISE!
thanks guys! i love you! :D

2008-02-06T21:13:00.003+08:00

(edited)
MY BIRTHDAY WISH LIST:
(simple lang naman akong tao eh..simple lang wants ko. tsk.)

~~A Starbucks tumbler. (pwede ding 2..hahaha!)~~
A Shirt from David and Goliath
An autographed Sugarfree CD (which ever..I don't own one, btw. I don't like buying CDs)
Conti's Mango Bravo or a pig-shaped carrot cake with pink icing...
A new backpack...
A new pair of flats...
A new pair of chucks...
Bluetooth headset...
A set of metallic colored pens
Something from humorpost (wag yung bastos...wholesome tayo dito)
~~A good book...~~
~~Flowers? ewww!~~ Maroon5 or NEYO tickets!
~~A movie date...~~
ACCA KAPPA hairbrush!
Clean's baby girl (it's a perfume)
OH! A CAMERA!
OH ~~CASH~~ ~~WOULD BE NICE TOO!~~
May I have Jake Cuenca din?

*****

If there's one thing that I fear, it is that I would die without doing anything with my life; that I would just fade away into the background having done nothing but satisfy the wanting of my human exterior. And for so long a time I have been wanting to find a purpose, a meaning to all this so called "existence". Truth is, I haven't felt alive these past months; I felt like a robot programmed to do only what society expects of me, and nothing more. I do the same things everyday, and I felt such a useless being and such a big waste of space and resources. I want to do something of value to humanity but I have no idea how.

And along comes Gang Badoy. The girl I want to become when I grow up.

She talked to us in school today. I thought that it would be one of those move and rally and picket for change talks so I was completely overjoyed when she told us that we have the right to be apathetic and still demand the Government that is due us; she is probably the first person ever to talk in UP who made me feel good about not wanting to picket and rally.

You see, youth "activism" is overrated and totally exaggerated, especially in my school. A lot of my schoolmates proclaim themselves iskolar ng bayan and yet waste the time they could spend studying (which is what we are supposed to do) marching and chanting, "fighting" whatever they see unfit and wrong in society, causing nothing but traffic and headaches and sometimes even halted economic activity. So where's the gratitude to the Filipino people in that? I want change too, as everyday I see what wrong we can change in society, but I don't believe that picketing and rallying would do us any good. I think that there is a better way of getting the message across and there is a better way of affecting change. Wouldn't it be better if we channel all that youthful energy we have and actually build homes for the poor or teach those who do not have money for school? Let's make ourselves more than just a crowd-filler during rallies and do something that would DIRECTLY help those who need it.

You see, Gang Badoy did not only talk to us today, she moved me. And I envy her for that; for her conviction, for her sense of purpose, for her will power and for her belief in the goodness of man. I envy her because she is an instrument of change and inspiration. I SHALL BE THAT TOO. (i shall join RockEd)

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE.
http://rockedphilippines.org

2008-02-04T17:29:00.001+08:00

As part of the General Education curricula of UP, we have to take all these subjects that would not even make a dent in our professional lives. We sit through and endure the rigors of the likes of Humanities 1 and Humanities 2 (not to mention their tiring productions) and all those other Social Science courses, all with but one goal: to pass and fulfill a requirement. And no matter how sad this may sound, it is the same case with most, if not all, the students taking medical or paramedical courses who think of these courses as mere extra work load to fill up the required number of units per semester.

However, once in a while, in our seemingly century-long semesters in UP, we find ourselves in a lame excuse for a classroom with decade old chairs in a class that is in no way connected to our degree program and just shocked and awed at the brilliance of our professor's mind. And yes it has happened to me, no it happens to me...every Mondays and occasional Thursdays that I have Social Science 2 classes.

Yes. SOCIAL SCIENCE 2. So how in the world is that connected to Speech Pathology? I, too have no idea, but it is one of the best classes I ever took. All thanks to my brilliant professor: Mr. Jalton Taguibao. And yes, he's the same Jal from Sugarfree. (Surprising isn't it?)

Sir Jal is by far one of the best teachers I've ever had in my whole entire academic career. At first I thought that my SocSci2 class would be similar to my SocSci1 class, which was useless as sh*t, (pardon my French) but I knew for sure that it was definitely not going to be like the latter. And I realized that twenty, no ten minutes into our first class with him. He's THAT good. And so I thought that I would have the same learning/educational experience every time we had class with him, but I was again proven wrong. He just keeps getting better and better with every meeting that passes by. Just like the adobo he keeps using as an example. (ang adobo pag mas matagal na mas masarap...) He might think that we just sit and stare in his class, laugh at his jokes and his stories, but no, that's not what we're really doing. We're merely giving him all the time to talk and lecture because one may never know how much wisdom you can get from that man and how much of it you're going to miss if you interrupt! YES. HE'S THAT GREAT.

Yes, Sir Jal may not look or seem like it (especially when you watch his band's music videos), but he has one of the most brilliant minds ever. He may not go to class regularly but he surely makes up for it with his genius lectures when he is there. Point is, he can take on any professor and stomp him or her, in my book. (basta sa DSS no sa CAS!) And yes, I am currently intellectually infatuated by him. (and so are most of my friends)

2008-01-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

Okay. Instead of studying for my PI100 exam, i'm answering this survey i found somewhere. WOW. Priorities ko nga naman.

Are you a UP Student?
~ Yes

Did you pass the UPCAT?
~ Apparently

What is your student number?
~ 2006-63643

What is your Degree Program? Major?
~ Bachelor of Science. SPEECH PATHOLOGY beybeh!

What campus are you in? Do you really like it there?
~ Manila. I love the P.Gil side. MED BOYS....

Is that your first choice of campus?
~ Yes.

Why or why not?
~ kasi dito lang may SP.

Aside from UP, where else did you apply?
~ De La Salle University-Taft and Ateneo de Manila University

Do you still visit or will you still visit the University after your graduation?
~ OO NAMAN! CAMPer forever!

What is the best thing about UP?
~ The people.

What do you miss or you're going to miss?
~ EVERYTHING!

What is your favorite place in the University? Why?
~ MED CAFE! grabe ang daming sightings dito! hahahaha!

What is your favorite day? Why?
~uhm. hehehe. night person ako. JOKE!

How about your favorite building? Why?
~ hmm. ask me next year. baka gawa na yung new CAMP building.

And your least favorite building? Why?
~GAB! walang signal dun sa ibang rooms!

Have you memorized the lyrics of UP Naming Mahal?
~ hehehe. medyo. half? does that count?

Who is/are your favorite professor/s?
~ SIR KEN! Sir Jalton Taguibao, Sir Marquez, Sir Mong, Sir Ong, Si Ma'am Yao!

Why him/her/them?
~ sobrang galing nila! as in! i am fascinated by how much they know. and uhm, the other one's colorful socks too!

Who is/are the professor/s that you don't like?
~abstain? for the sake of my career?

Why him/her/them?
~ hehehehe. BITCH siya. hahahaha!

Do you often walk?
~ hahaha. yeah! we love walking.

Are you most of the time at the Library during your vacant periods?
~ uhm. NO.

Who is your Chancellor?
~ Ramon L. Arcadio, MD, MHPEd, DrHum

Do you like the Perspective?
~ uhm. ano yun? at aling perspective? joke!

If you weren't in UP, where would you be? -
~ DLSU! ANIMO LASALLE!

In your opinion, is the University going to contribute much on you?
~ Yes.

Have you cheered "Go UP!"?
~ YES

What can you say about the Oblation?
~ hehe. mahalay. :p

How long have you been studying at UP?
~almost 2 years. second sem na!

What can you say about your classmates?
~ hahahahaha! i love them!

How about the classrooms?
~ huh? what rooms? hahahaha. ganun talaga. work with what you have.

In which floor/s is/are your classroom/s at?
~ uhm. anong araw at oras?

Where do you often eat?
~ sa Rob or sa Midtown

What do you buy there?
~ food?

Do you eat street foods sold outside the campus?
~ nope. ay. yung turon!

Which college has the most beautiful building?
~College of Allied Medical Professions. sana.

Do you envy them?
~ kami yun.

Do you still have PE Subjects?
~ yep! last one!

If yes, then what is it?
~ Social Dance

Are you happy about your PE?
~okay lang. ako naman pumili eh. hehehe.

Are you paid in your tuition?
~ HUH???

Have you bought a UP jacket?
~ Nope. sorry.

Any plans?
~ Yes.

How about T-shirts?
~wala pa nga eh!

Any plans as well?
~ Yeah.

Have you had a photo taken beside the Oblation?
~ yes. bad luck daw yun!

How many times?
~ 1

Why are there many tourists visiting our campus?
~ historical landmark eh. primitive and ancient na daw. haha!

Did you ever try praying to the images in the UP?
~ HUH???

2008-01-29T02:41:00.000+08:00

Okay. It's 2.41 in the morning and I am still wide awake. I can't sleep. I am jittery and anxious. My heart rate's crazy fast and I know I am miles away from being able to sleep. YES. I had too much caffeine for today. Haha! I had a Venti mocha frappuccino over a larynx model I was finishing. All thanks to Anton (wait? thanks to Anton? Parang ako taya ah!)...HAHAHA! Yes partner! In your words, "that's how we do..."

*****

Can I just say that Sir Jalton Taguibao is one of the BEST teachers I've ever had since I became an active member of the academic community. WOW. He is just...WOW.

*****

Most, if not all, of my friends will tell you that I usually leave nothing for myself. Not my pride, not my dignity, not anything. It's really funny when people tell me, "Kat, magtira ka naman para sa sarili mo." But I can't just do that. You see, I have this principle of giving what you have until you can't anymore. It sounds so absurd at first but it's just how I do things. There are certain things that you just can't give enough of. I don't think that it matters what it costs you as long as you are sure of what you are doing. I don't think it's wrong to sacrifice your happiness for something that you know would be great and would make even one person in your life happy. There's no room for selfishness in this world. It's not that I'm saying that you must always put the people around you first, all I'm saying is that if you can help, do not hesitate to do so, the best way you can. Life will always be difficult for all of us, but it wouldn't hurt if you could help even one person with the load he or she's carrying; it may sometimes hurt, it may sometimes be difficult, but it would always be worth it. And now I give to you what I told my friend Danielle the other day, "Sometimes, when we think less of what we can acquire, we gain more."

2008-01-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

yehey! the UPCAT results are out! and with that we welcome the incoming Speech Pathology freshies for AY 2008-2009:

Akiat, Louie Francis
Bayona, Howell Henrian
Bentulan, Denise Lara Kamille
Espinosa, Kariza Monique
Fadri, Jessamae
Feliciano, Irene
Lagus, Jillian Marai
Loberderio, Lileth
Malabuyoc, Angella
Marin, Mia Angeli
Mascarinas, Paulina Gail
Medina, Anna Clarysse
Meneses, Jamie Therese
Mina, Kevin Cate
Nassar, Nadia
Neri, Karla Patricia
Ongtangco, Bethany
Pacaldo, Josyne Rochelle
Pantig, Melissa Joy
Pinson, Raisa Adrienne
Prollamante, Victor Angelo
Rellora, Lauren Victoria
Sagad, Monica Shiena
Verzon, Michiko
Villegas, Jesryph Flor
Yap, Kimberly

CONGRATULATIONS!

2008-01-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY FRIENDS...

click here for more pictures

2008-01-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

my resolution???:

BAGONG TAON, WALA NG LALAKE!
the complete opposite of maic's. hahaha!

2008 here i come!:D

******

I GOT MY STARBUCKS PLANNER NA! FINALLY! I spent P715 for it on a single day dahil hindi na talaga ako makapaghintay! HAHA! I send thankyous to my friends who drank all the coffee i bought! hehehehe! yehey!

******

My first day back at school was really fun, although I missed Miggy even more today. I got to hang out with my friends again after the long vacation. (yehey!) And of course, because we haven't seen each other for quite sometime, there was a lot of catching up to do, so I give you the most meaningful "catching up" session I had today. (And because I have a policy of not naming names, i shall not put any names in this entry)

I have a friend from school na sobrang ka-close ko na. Partner in crime ko na 'to and sobrang dami na naming "pinky promises". Siya na yata ang isa sa mga "totoong" kaibigan ko, ever. Sa lahat ng pinagdaanan naming paghihirap para sa acads at iba pang stuff at mga kalokohan namin, wala parin kaming laglagan at never pa akong iniwan nito. I have learned so much from this friend. As in sobrang dami na. Kami yung tipo ng magkaibigan na not necessarily kailangang magkausap palagi or magkatext, but we talk when we can. And the best part about us is that we are both secured and confident na friends lang talaga kami no matter what people may think. (Someone once told me na magpakasal na daw kami. DUH.) Sobrang parang kapatid ko na siya. So, ayun ang background ng friendship namin. Anyway, dahil nga hindi kami mahilig magusap sa text, madaming kaming kwentong naipon. And so today we were able to talk. And the talk we had was not makwela or happy or festive. As always it was a serious talk between friends. And I feel so good kasi he gave me assurance that I am a good person and a good friend that he trusts me enough to make kwento to me. It may have been indirect but the fact that he talked to me about stuff like that was really assuring. And I think that's one of the best ways to start a new year.

So anong point nitong part ng blog ko? Wala naman. It's just a little reminder that we can give and receive, learn and teach, experience and cherish, so much more in a friendship. Hindi lang yung puro gimmicks and hanging out. Hindi lang naman panandaliang saya yung mabibigay natin through our jokes and happy memories, kasi hindi lang naman yun ang ibig sabihin ng pagkakaibigan. And that's a great lesson in life and I hope that I learn so much more this year about friendship, kasi ito na yata ang strongest human bond. And that it gives so much more to people than we may think. (I really hope that I will be a better friend this year.)

2007-12-17T22:16:00.000+08:00

I hate it when people ask me if I'm okay or if I'm sad or if I'm alright. I just hate it. I hate it when people ask me why or how. I hate it. It's not a big deal. And if I want to talk about it, I will. If I don't talk to you about it, then it means you're better off not knowing. But to set the record straight...I'M PERFECTLY FINE. (okay? no more questions please.)

******

*BANG BANG*

LESSON LEARNED.

******

My wishlist:

Unlimited Shopping Money (c/o mommy? :D )
~~A brain model~~
A unicorn stuff toy from humor post (yung pink!)
A unicorn pillow from humor post
A UP planner
A new pair of chucks
A shirt from that store in midtown (i forgot the name!)
A new Jansport artist series bag
A kiss from **** or ****** or *****
What I told Allan.

******

for them:

*DON'T EVER SMILE AT ME. you're mean.

*you're so inconsistent. i don't know what you want.

*stop being too nice.

*stay away from me. i don't want to hurt you.

*you don't have to be nice to me. i'm not that immature.

*******

isn't this sweet and cute?:D

*click*

2007-12-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

BAWAL MAGKA CRUSH

SA KAIBIGAN NG KAPATID.

2007-11-28T17:32:00.001+08:00

HELL ~~WEEK~~ SEM IS ON!

2007-11-23T23:24:00.001+08:00

First things first...

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE
SPEECH PATHOLOGY SOPHOMORES!
(yes! we did it guys!)
we may not have defended the crown, but we all won.
sa hard work na binigay natin at sa lahat ng lessons na natutunan natin...
dun palang panalo na tayo.
ANG GALING NG BLOCK NATIN!
GO SP 2010!

CONGRATULATIONS (din) SA
SPEECH PATHOLOGY JUNIORS!
(pang champion yung performance niyo!)
super wow yung ginawa niyo!
sobrang natuwa at napaligaya ako.

SP ROCKS!
sobrang galing talaga ng SP's!

_____________________________________________

As DAN from the movie CLOSER said:

DECEPTION IS BRUTAL.

_______________________________________

LESSONS:

One of my dearest friends taught me something very nice this week. He taught me that not all decisions you make must be based on percentages. Kumbaga, if 75% of you want option A and only 25% of you want option B, you may not necessarily choose option A. My friend said that there are things that are not just a matter of choice. And I think that what my friend said is true.

There are certain things in life that you have to do not because it will make you happier based on percentages, statistics and proportions. You see, life is not as simple as math equations. Math Equations have definite answers and may only vary if the values given are changed, but life, life is more complicated than that. You can have different answers with the all the same circumstances, because life has no one formula and no one solution. We make our own formulas and solutions; we make our own choices. Whether or not we make the right decision/s can not be judged by anyone, as there is no right or wrong answer to life. It also does not necessarily follow that when we are happy with our decision that we have made the right choice. Because, if it's that easy, that we only have to choose our own happiness, then something must be wrong. Sometimes, doing the right and the good takes a lot more effort. We sometimes need to choose not for our own sake but for the sake of the people around us. We must sometimes forget our own happiness, not for nobility, not just to avoid conflict, but to do what is right.

Doing the right thing is sometimes difficult and, worse, depressing. But it gives comfort when you think about the repercussions of whatever you choose to do; you are able to make people happy. And in turn you get to be happy because the people around you exude so much joy.

*****

I have another friend who taught me so much also. He is younger than me (but so much better in math, mind you). We had a fairly serious talk the other day and we talked about love. He said that he was in no hurry to get into a relationship right now, and I also felt the same way. We talked about what love is and what love should be. We both agreed that the past relationships we had were no where near what love truly was. It is not merely about holding hands or flowers or dates but something much deeper. I had trouble explaining what I thought about love, because it is just impossible to put into words. Love is something intangible, one cannot touch, see or smell or hear it. But one should be able to feel it in order to know what it truly is. But since man has for so long searched for means to express what love is, I give you the most believable expressions of love, the ones that have truly touched my heart: (for my friend)

I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that does not bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

-Pablo Neruda

******

My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah

- from the movie The Notebook

******

"Love has to spring spontaneously from within. And it is no way amenable to any form of inner or outer force. Love and coercion can never go together; but though love cannot be forced on anyone, it can be awakened in him through love itslef. Love is essentially communicative; those who do not have it catch it from those who have it. True love is unconquerable and irresistible, and it goes on gathering power and spreading itself...until eventually it transforms everyone whom it touches."

- anonymous

******
"The strongest love is love that can demonstrate its fragility"

"Freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free."

- Paulo Coelho

******
(more to come)

2007-11-15T20:48:00.000+08:00

Misunderstandings suck. But when everybody's friends again, you realize that these little things are meant to make your friendship stronger and deeper. You see, love in this kind of relationship is so great that it takes a lot more than grades, pressure and john lloyd-bea movies to shake it. although we have a long way to go and a lot of other misunderstandings to come, I know in my heart that we will never let anything too little to be reason to break the bond we have. And I know that we will make things work. And that's why I love my college barkada...because we have one of the most real friendships ever. It's not just about going out to parties and eating together, it's about growing together and learning things that can't be learned in the classroom with each other. It's not always easy, but every single moment and chance is always worth it. And that is truly saying something. I love Wonderful and FPG!

2007-11-15T00:50:00.000+08:00

PLEASE MAKE ME INVISIBLE.

(so that you won't see me when I look at you)

*****

I send my warmest thanks to the pogi-in-all-the-multiverses Aldrich Ivan Lois Burog. Thank you for that great movie experience that made the ending to this very lousy day happy. You're Superbad. *smiles* And for making me realize a thing or two about friendship. I will be your friend...I promise. And oh, just like in the movie, I'm not ashamed to tell you and will tell you always that I love you.

*****

Talent Show in a week, and we have nothing.
We'll manage guys.
We will. We always do.
I believe in us.
GO SP!

2007-10-26T12:42:00.000+08:00

40 SECRETS ABOUT YOURSELF. (grabbed from Danielle's Xanga)

Be honest no matter what.

[one] what is your natural hair color?
[honestly] >> black with what my mom refer to as "natural highlights"

[two] where was your default picture taken?
[honestly] >> at home.

[three] what's your middle name?
[honestly] >> Paulino! (and proud of it baby!)

[four] your current relationship status?
[honestly] >> SINGLE!

[five] does your crush like you back?
[honestly] >> I DUNNO. ask him. haha!

[six] what is your current mood?
[honestly] >> happy and perky.:))

[seven] what color underwear are you wearing?
[honestly] >> err..blue green???

[eight] what makes you happy?
[honestly] >> ice cream, marshmallows and cupcakes. hahaha!

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
[honestly] hahaha! i think i would like to do better academically. hahaha!

[eleven] if you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
[honestly] >> a...uhm...dolphin! i want to know what it feels like..you know? swimming..i kind of don't know how. haha!

[twelve] ever had a near death experience?
[honestly] >> yes. a lot. most of it is my fault though. swallowed a whole ice cube once. :))

[thirteen] something you do a lot?
[honestly] >> go online.

[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?
[honestly] >> westlife's we are one and try again. hahaha. (i love westlife!)

[fifteen] who did you copy and paste this from?
[honestly] >> daniella

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you?
[honestly] >> SI IC ILAGAN! the cutest guy ever! hahaha. friend from high school who can sing sooo sooo well! hahaha. and sugor too..hahaha

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried?
[honestly] >> oh..the night na nagalit si mommy kay enzo at umiyak si mommy.

[eighteen] have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
[honestly] >> YEP! madaming beses na. hahaha!

[nineteen] if you could have one super power what would it be?
[honestly] >> oh..i want peter petrelli's power! hahaha!

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
[honestly] >> eyes, smile...hands..hands are very important!

[twenty-one] what do you usually order from starbucks?
[honestly] >> white chocolate mocha..hahaha.

[twenty-two] what's your biggest secret?
[honestly] >> waha! da and czar know..:))

[twenty-three] favorite colors?
[honestly] >> violet, blue, pink, yellow, white, GREEN...hahahaha.

[twenty-five] do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
[honestly] >> YES! ako pa! *blue's clues blue's clues*

[twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment?
[honestly] >> nothing..(oral amylase??)

[twenty-seven] do you speak any other language?
[honestly] >> english and filipino. can sing in italian too.

[twenty-eight] what's your favorite smell?
[honestly] >> POLO BLACK!

[twenty-nine] If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
[honestly] >> cheerleaderish..(yeah! save me to save the world! joke!)

[thirty] when was the last time you gave/received a hug?
[honestly] yesterday from my big little brother.

[thirty-one] have you ever kissed in the rain?
[honestly] >> no...never.

[thirty-two] what are u thinking right now?
[honestly] >> i want **** to get into **...

[thirty-three] what should you be doing?
[honestly] >> nothing. hahaha. playing poker i guess.

[thirty-four] what was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
[honestly] >> enzo and his bullshit excuses. haha.

[thirty-five] how often do you pray?
[honestly] >> i live a life of prayer?

[thirty-six] do you like working in the yard?
[honestly] >> NO.

[thirty-seven] if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
[honestly] >> err. i dunno. PEREZ fits my name. hahaha.

[thirty-eight] do you act differently around your crush?
[honestly] >> i'm a little bit more quiet..depends really.

[thirty-nine] name one song that reminds you of an ex?
[honestly] >> wala. i don't think of them. hahaha! they suck!

[forty] who was the last person to make you cry?
[honestly] >> MOM. hahaha.

1.LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? - i don't consider my past relationships as real. hahaha. they were just play.

2.LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? - ice cream from the grocery.

3.EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? - YEAH-HUH. AKO PA!

4.THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON - shoes/ footwear.

5.LAST FOOD YOU ATE? - bangus! YUM!

6.ONE FAVORITE SONG - err. john mayer's VULTURES.

7.WHERE DO YOU LIVE? - batangas..quezon city..

8.DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE? - NOPE.

9.LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED - super tagal na! kuya koko's wedding.

10.LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND - a week ago?? hehehe.

11.BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER SAID - me?? ang dami di ako makapili! HAHA!

12.WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? – PIZZA NIRO. JOLLIBEE! McDo. we eat a lot you know!

13.CAN YOU COOK? – Yes..but i need to learn more pa.

14.WHAT? - huh?

15.LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a long time ago..

16.LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF - i don't worry too much..

17.FAVORITE MOVIE? – the classic..hehehe. and madami pa...but ngayon..yun talaga. hehehe.

18.CAN YOU SING? a little..i guess.

19.DO YOU SMOKE? – NO. i hate smoking!

20.PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? - can i have both please?:D

21.DO YOU LIKE COFFEE? – YES! coffee is good for bodies that are subjected to too much stress. hahaha!

22.LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? – my parents.

23.LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST? - my dad.

24.WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED? - a message form da saying that i got my father's lips..(i beg to disagree..)

25.CAN YOU PLAY POOL? - Yes..a little...

26.CAN YOU SWIM? – NO! never learned how to!

27.FAVORITE ICE CREAM? - yung malamig na matamis..hahaha. (basically, basta ice cream)

28.LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? – kanina. hahaha.

29.WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING? – 10 something. hahaha

30.WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND? – bumming?? i dunno.

31. BIRTH DATE – February 11, 1990

32.ARE YOU SMILING? - yes.

33.DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW – YES. i miss everyone..just like da.

34.IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? - i want to go to...err..paris.

35.DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH? ano ba? ako pa mawalan! *arambarambaramba calendar boys..oooh kat's calendar boys*

36.DO YOU HAVE A SISTER? – YEP! ate.

37.ARE YOU IN LOVE? - with will and john lloyd cruz and jake cuenca and enchong dee (who happens to be the nephew of my mom's friend.) even if i heard a rumor saying that enchong's gay.

38.HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? – a lot of times na.. my parents are doctors.

39.DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? – YES. my college friends..all of them.

40.WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? – i dunno. take a bath? play poker??

2007-10-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

It's semestral break. But then again, I can't feel it. There's this nagging feeling that I have something else to do or that there was something I missed out. You see, after the kind of semester I had, one cannot expect me to return to normal. No, never ever again. It's just not possible for my old self to come back again. That old self being someone who can sit and do nothing for a whole day and not study and not think about anything. I can't do that anymore. I guess, that's what UP and CAMP does to you. You turn your back from the days when you were delinquents and look forward to a life of hard work and perseverance. One that will remind you day in and day out that being smart is not enough for you to survive, you have to be it all. You have to be, in my friend Micole's words, "a phenomenal man or woman". You have to be able to make the right decisions, the right choices; you have to stand up and shake it off when you fall; you have to act like you're alright when in reality you want to cry already; you have to be strong and strive hard; you have to like what you're doing and you have to be passionate. Being smart or lucky is not enough for you to survive life in UP. You have to be it all. But unfortunately, I cannot be it all. I can only try. And I can only push myself, I can only do what I'm capable of. And I can only PRAY for the best.

(so that about sums it all up..my first semester in second year and how i do not want to relive it ever again. and how I am still hanging by a thread, dangling for life)

***** (in other news)

My Friendster shout-out right now says "sometimes, ending up together is not the best thing..." and that's actually true. I have learned that now. You see, I have always been a mamon and all of my friends know it. I have always believed in happily ever afters and of happy endings, I always believed that life was a fairytale and I am one of its many princesses waiting for my prince charming. But life is not a fairytale, and I am most certainly not a princess. So I gave up. Yes, I gave up. I gave up on the waiting. It's not because I don't believe in happy endings anymore, it's just that I know that it's not going to happen to me. At least not now.

You see, I have come to the conclusion that boys are really stupid, no matter how smart they may seem academically. They all have this little bit of stupidity in them that can never go away. That's the reason why they don't say the right things, they don't do the right things, they don't see the right things and they don't feel the right things. They suck, in general. I'm sure that every male reader that I have right now is violently screaming "FOUL", well, it's the same reaction we get when we read how you label the female species as "maarte and irrational". That's just how things go, we don't understand each other, we were never meant to understand each other. And that's the main reason why I gave up. Because I can't understand anymore...and I am too tired to try AGAIN.

So that's why my shout-out's like that...still unclear to you? Well, you see, I did fall in love recently and I tried my best to shake the stone that I fell in love with. But all my efforts did not pay off. I gave up. Of course, there was a lot of bitterness inside me at first and I kept on sour graping and I kept on rambling and ranting, but then I decided to stop that too. So I spent the last two months not thinking about him and keeping myself busy. Now that I have nothing to do, I finally had the time to look back and think back. And in the painful process of reminiscing, I realized that ending up together is not necessarily the best thing in the world. I think that if we did, we would only be fighting and that would've caused everybody so much more pain. But because we didn't, everybody was spared from that. And when I think about it, the process of falling in and falling out of love was the best experience I could have ever had with him. He taught me so much about life and love and of what it really takes to love and what love really means. He taught me how to be more patient, he taught me how to be more humble and he taught me that not everything I want today, I will still want tomorrow. He taught me how pain can be a beautiful thing and how sorrow can make you a better person. He taught me how to be more understanding and more considerate. But most importantly, he taught me that boys at his age are stupid and are immature. And that's a whole lot better experience than holding hands or hugging or kissing.

2007-10-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS

TO THE

DE LA SALLE

GREEN ARCHERS!

*****

By the way, I was there at the Coliseum when La Salle bagged the UAAP Men's Basketball Championship...and can i just say that that was one of the best things about being a Lasallian. I miss being a Lasallian. I miss the cheers, the drums and the alma mater hymn, and having been able to witness that game and cheer and sing was the best detoxification activity ever. But surprisingly, my favorite part of the whole event was when we were cheering for the other schools. Especially Jervy Cruz of UST and Chris Tiu, represented by his brother Charles. It was one of the few times you would hear a sea of green shout, "Go Ateneo" with matching drum beats from the DLSU Pep Squad. It was, however, heart breaking when UE lost. James Martinez, my long time crush from way way back, was crying and I wanted to hug him, even though he was sweaty already.

*****

I'M ALMOST THERE.

C'MON KAT...

YOU CAN DO IT.

2007-10-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

this is where math1 comes in handy. haha. enjoy decoding my blog entry. hahaha!

*****

00100001010000110010 110010111110101,

01001 000010110010111000011100110011 10100010000111110101001110100010100 10100010000000110100 110010111110101 10111001011001000101 0111100101 0111100110 1010001000011111001100101 00110100100100100101011100010010011 10100010000000110100 01001 0001101111101010110000100 0111000101101100010110010 01100011111001100101. 000101010110100 01001 101110000110011 1011110010011110111000111. 1011100101 100110100000001100100010100100 1001101111 01101101010001101000 10111010011010001000 00101000010001101000 0111110100010000010110010 000010111000100 01001 01011011100111110111 10111010000000110100 1011100101 010000000100100 101110000110011 10011100000010100011010010000101100. 01001 01011011100111110111 10100010000000110100 100000010101111100000110000101 1010001000010010111001011 10100010000000110100 01001 000011001110011101010110100101 101000111101111 01101101010001101000 000010111000100 10100010000000110100 0100110100 101110000110011 000010110001100 0100101110 0110111001 0100101101000010011101001011100000110100010010111101110. 000101010110100 101110000110011 0100110100 100100010100001011000110011001? 01001 001000111101110’10100 01011011100111110111. 000010111000100 01001 101110111110101011000010001110’10100 100100010100001011000110011001 10111000010111010100 1010001111 000011001101011 110010111110101. 01001 01011011100111110111 10100010000000110100 011100111110111 01101011111001000101 10100010000000101110 00101101100010110010, 110010111110101 000011001000101 00001011100111001111110010010100100 0001011001 0110100101. 10111001010110001100, 10100010000000110100’10011 00110010010111000101 10111I1010001000 0110100101. 0100110100’10011 011100111110100 10100010000000110100 01001 001000111101110’10100 00011000011001000101, 0100110100’10011 01010101011001110100 10100010000000110100 01001 01000000011011000101 01100001010000110010011100010100100 010000111110111 1010001111 000010001100011001011000010100 10100010000000110100 00110000010001110100 10100010000000110100 110010111110101 10111010010110001100 0111000101101100010110010 0001000101 01101010010111000101. 000010111000100 01001’01101 100111010110010100001001001001100110100101110001110110011001 00110010010111000101 10111010011010001000 0100110100. 1001101111 1010001000001011001000101. 01001 0010001111 0000100100011010100110100 10100010000000110100 01001 001000100100100 01100011111011000101 110010111110101, 01001 0011110101001011001110011 01001 100100010100001011000110011001 001000100100100, 000101010110100 000010110001100 10100010000000110100’10011 01111101100010110010 011100111110111. 000010111000100 01001 1010001000000010111001011 001110111100100 10100010000000110100 0100110100 0100110011. 000101010110100 1011100101’1001000101 1001110100010010110001100 001101001001001001010010010011. 1011100101 10111010010110001100 000010110010111000011100110011 0001000101 00110100100100100101N0010010011.

01100011111011000101 010110000110100.

2007-09-29T18:03:00.000+08:00

A survey 'cause i was bored.

Rule #1:

If you open this you GOTTA take it.

Rule # 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING
unless someone
messages you and asks

Rule #3:
Only answer True or False
---

Q: Kissed more than one person on your top friends? false
Q: Kissed someone you didn't like? true
Q: You like someone? true
Q: Held a snake? true
Q: Been suspended from school? false
Q: Kissed in the rain? false
Q: Sang in the shower? true
Q: Sat on a roof top? true
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? false
Q: Broken a bone? false
Q: Shaved your head? false
Q: Played a prank on someone? true
Q: Had/have a gym membership? false
Q: Donated Blood? true
Q: Had your heart broken? true
Q: Broken someone's heart? true

"Who was your last?"
just be 100% truthful
LAST PERSON.

1. You hung out with? wonderful + grass
2. last person you texted? danielle and patring
3. last person you slept next too? ate bel
4. Went to the movies with? joseph
5. Went to the mall with? wonderful + grass
6. You talked to on the phone? dr. ed (my dentist)
7. Made you laugh? my dad
8. You hugged? my mom
9. you kissed? where? my friends, cheeks
10. Made you cry? he who must not be named

WOULD YOU RATHER...

1. Be serious or be funny? funny
2. Drink whole or skim milk? whole milk
3. Die in a fire or get shot? get shot

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. Sun or moon? moon

2. dark or light chocolate? dark

3. Left or right? right

4. Sunny or rainy? rainy

5. Hugs or kisses? hugs

6. Where do you live? at what time of the month? haha. Batangas City and Quezon City

7. Rock or Techno? rock

8. Do you want to get married? yes

9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl

10. Do You Cook? yes

11. Current mood? bored and tinatamad

IN THE LAST 72 HOURS HAVE YOU...

1. Kissed someone? no

2. Sang? yes

3. Been hugged? yes

4. Like someone you can't have? uh. No na ata.

Repost this as, ''WHO WAS YOUR LAST?"

2007-09-27T18:45:00.000+08:00

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

- Jim Morrison

And because Jim said such, I will not hide whatever pain I am feeling right now. Yes, a lot of things pain me. But since I am not afraid of feeling and even of hurting, then I'm admitting it. I'm in pain...my arms hurt from bringing that sofa to CAS from the 12th floor of Astral and back.

2007-09-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

- Neil Gaiman

2007-09-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

I was tagged by Anton (who was tagged by ate Prichie) and Miggy (who was tagged by Michael) and Sammy (who was tagged by Deborah) (haha. ngayon lang ako gumawa!)

In the 8 facts about you, you share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you.

Then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.

– Each blogger must post these rules first.
– Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
– Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things and post these rules.
– At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I tried everything as a kid, but never really master anything. I did ballet, I tried figure skating, I did piano, I have a little training in theater and voice because of piano...the list goes on and on. OH! I also tried in-line skating! I enjoyed my childhood though, no pressure from my parents whatsoever.

2. I never learned how to swim. Yes, after three (yes three) different teachers I still don't know how to swim. I am proud to say that I am the only student from Lozada that never learned how to swim and I think I did Milo din. haha! I'm such a loser.

3. I hate smoking. I really really hate smoking. I cannot imagine myself purposely inhaling smoke into my body. And yes, despite the fact that I hang out with a smoker most of the time (read: anton) I still don't smoke. It's not my thing talaga. I also don't understand why people need to smoke, it's just gross. haha! but of course, I don't MAKE my friends stop, i just try to convince them but if they keep on doing it, then wala na ako magagawa. Basta ako, second hand smoke is already plenty for me.

4. I'm a great cook! haha! I love cooking and baking and I always cook for my family when I can. I started learning how to cook when I was 3 or 4. Basic easy things lang, like pancakes and hotdogs and eggs, too. I even remember my mom telling me na I would know when to flip the pancake kasi bubbles start to appear then pag naging holes na yung bubbles i can flip it na daw. So there. hehe.

5. I LURVE TO EAT! Jollibee spaghetti is the best! haha. That's really one of the things I look forward to in life. haha! It's a great comfort food. I love it. And I also love Jollibee's burger steak. Me and my friends enjoy eating at Jollibee. haha! I also love eating pizza! Any kind of pizza except the one's with anchovies. I love my Kuya Jon's California Maki..sobrang sarap...closest to it na ang TB maki.

6. I find burps funny! haha. Unlike most people who think burps are gross, I really enjoy laughing at burps. haha! The best burp I've ever heard is my kuya Jon's! haha. It's really funny when guys burp. Parang nakakatawa pag isipin mo kung saan galing yung resonance nun at yung mechanism kung paano nakaka-create ang tao ng burp! haha.

7. Things I want to get as Gift: White Lillies with green flowers. (yes! green flowers. green flowers are really great! haha. czar likes them too!), Siomai! Yes! SIOMAI! I don't know why though. Siopao would be great too! haha. I also want to receive Conti's Mango Bravo or a chocolate caramel cake! haha! As big as the one in Matilda!

8.I have already planned out my life with a guy. Haha! But he doesn't know it yet. haha. I've been waiting for him for 3 years. (going on four) I'm just hoping and waiting and wishing and praying. Haha! haha! I promise to give him pizza when he's in MedSchool na, midnight snack while he's studying. Haha!

I was tagged by Anton, Miggy and Sammy. (dapat ba 24 i-tag ko?)
Now, I'm tagging:
1. Isabel Perez
2. Amelie Colobong
3. Danielle Escano
4. Micole Gotauco
5. Majo (bagojo) Tolentino
6. the toothfairy
7. the sandman
8. the boogie monster

2007-09-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHEN!

(SEPT 18)
who would have thought that such a quiet kid
would grow up to be such a funny guy

*****

my "8 random things about me" will be published soon! haha. wait for it. haha. I'm not in the mood. and i'm currently too busy. haha. in the mean time, yan munang birthday greeting ko kay tep ang tignan niyo. haha!

2007-09-16T02:19:00.000+08:00

THANKS.
it was like we were never apart.

2007-09-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

I'LL BE BLOGGING AGAIN!
(starting now)

******

I'm Back. Truth is, I already miss blogging. It's really an outlet for all the insanity in me. (Yes, I am insane.) I never thought that such silly things helped me keep sane.I need a place to ramble and talk without anyone judging me or making me feel bad. It's actually healthy. I mean, rambling and getting all the negative energy out of your system. And I would like to announce to the whole world that I will keep on rambling until I die, rather until I can (given the whole scheduling and stuff and school and all that). And, and...I will never let anyone stop me from rambling. (I do not really ramble, I just talk like a machine gun [is that how you define rambling?] , but since people like to use that word then let's all use that word.)

******

An Open Letter to the WORLD:

To Whom it May Concern:

I would like to inform you that I do not like/LOVE/whatever- people-perceived-it-to-be HIM anymore. I just don't anymore. It was just a phase, and that phase ended ages ago. It does not require an explanation, nor does it mean that I'm bitter (as some people may think), it just all ended. Maybe all I needed was to get sick to realize a lot of things. So there. I would also appreciate it if people would not question/interrogate me regarding this topic. It is now officially over. EVERYTHING. And oh, NO, there is no one NEW. It's just it, I've had it with him and I'm throwing in the towel. I would also like to thank all my friends for keeping me sane and constantly reminding me that HE's not worth it and that I deserve better. I have finally realized all of the things you have been saying before.

With this letter, I end all the Blog Posts and "ramblings" about him.

Sincerely,
Katrina

PS:
Rocks don't deserve love. I tried my best to get through him, but he just won't budge. So there, again, I repeat: ROCKS DON'T DESERVE LOVE.

2007-08-17T20:32:00.001+08:00

there are signs everywhere.
you just have to look.

and believe.

2007-08-03T09:58:00.000+08:00

It is just blog worthy to say that the almost-worst day of my entire life became one of the funnest nights I have ever had! A big thank you to ANTON, for waiting for me get my comm3 readings photocopied; MICKI, for picking me and Anton up at UST; JR, for the kakulitan and all that other stuff; Josh Hartnett, for the laughs...hahaha! Thanks you guys for making me laugh..haha! You know that I will always love you. :)

LET'S DO THIS AGAIN!
(next time with a lot more people..)

*****

Yesterday was one of those days when i could not wish for anything more. I was happy through and through. All because of these three guys, and of course..JOSH HARTNETT!

(Micole: I'll make kwento na lang soon...about josh hartnett. I know you love him. :) )

*****

Okay, I just took a test about "What makes You Luminous", glow so to speak. So here's what my test results say:

KATRINA, your Strength makes you luminous

You're a powerhouse, and we're not talking about how much weight you can bench. Adventurous and courageous, you've got the heart of a lion and the will to follow through.

Ambitious and driven, you're certainly not afraid to go after your goals and turn them into the real thing. A promotion at work? A trip around the world? A new house? With your sass and tenacity, we're sure you'll get everything you want and more. Lucky for all of us, your strength is inspiring!

(YEAH RIGHT! haha. I get my strength from the people around me, you know.)

wishing.

2007-07-31T20:27:00.000+08:00

belated happy birthday to JR (July 20) and Czar (July 27)

*****

My friends and I hanged out at the GAB (Gusaling Andres Bonifacio) Cafe today during our regular one and a half hour break before Math1. It was like the normal "passing the time" thing for us, basically filled with laughter and kwento and jokes. It was one of those typical things we have regularly to pass the time, nothing really big. Just laughs over fish balls, squid balls and kikiam. And today, we talked about our wishes and wishing and the ways on how to make one's wishes come true. Maicolf said that all her wishes came true after she prayed hard, to all the angels and the Saints, might I add. Miggy, on the other hand, talked about how none of his wishes ever came true despite all the efforts he exerted involved in the "wishing process". He has completed all the simbang gabi during Christmas time, trying all the wishing patterns he has heard of, wished on the flying flowers and on fallen eyelashes, but still, none of his wishes came true. We started to joke about how it may be because of Maicolf's name that all the wishes have been granted. ( You see, her name was derived from, "Mary Immaculate Conception", "Our lady of Lourdes", "Our Lady of Fatima".)

I wish too, of course, but none of my wishes came true. Was it because of the intention? A friend of mine was honest enough to say that his intentions were not really good, but what about mine? My intentions were and are still pure...although the my only goal is my own happiness. But is wanting to be happy a crime? Is it wrong to wish for your own happiness? Is it that selfish of me to wish only for my happiness? I never really wished for anything that would make me happy but would make someone else unhappy. But don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm unhappy that I wish for the things that I wish for, but there's this nagging feeling that something's missing in my life and I wish to fill that gap. I just want to look in the mirror and say, "I'm not perfect, I don't have everything, but I'm happy through and through, and that's enough..."

But why do we really wish? Is it because that we all want to be perfectly happy? Is it because we dread the thought of being the saddest person on Earth? Are we all selfish? Are we all unhappy and discontented beings? I think not. It is not all of these that make people wish, we are, of course, surviving very well. I also believe that the more you have, the more you wish for more and that it's not mere greed that's driving people to wish for more; only the greedy think that way. I think that people wish for things because of the comfort it gives them. Yes, the comfort of no matter how twisted and unfortunate your life may be, you can always wish for it to be better. It is not that we expect God to magic our life into the Stepford Wife-ish way, but it is the thought that you can wish for things and it may really come true. I know perfectly well that what I wish for is not something unattainable but is not also easy to acquire. I know that I, in a certain way, have to do my share of that wish. But like every body else in this world, I find comfort in knowing that I can always wish.

****

hey YOU!

You very well know that I don't want you to go anywhere that I can't reach. I think you know that there are a lot of times that I cling to you for support, for comfort and for fun. You know that I love you, and I very well know that you love me too. I know that you will always be my brother by heart. I know that I would be selfish if I would ask you to stay, because I have no other valid reason than what I have written here. I would love it if you would stay. But since I am neither your mom nor your dad, I think that whatever they would want for you would be best for you and your future, and I would never dream of taking away a chance you would have to a better future. I know that you know how I feel about losing each other or drifting apart, you know how it makes me cry. But since this is your life, know always that I will be here for you no matter what and that I will always love you. Our friendship will live on even if we're a million light years away from each other.

Love,
Katrina

2007-07-15T00:21:00.000+08:00

I WAS SUPPOSED TO RANT

okay, as the title says, "i was supposed to rant". yes i was supposed to rant about how my week seemed like hell, how i never got to eat anything decent after breakfast, how i would sleep so late at night and wake up so early the next day and how i was so stressed about stuff..yes that was supposed to be the whole theme of my blog. but i just couldn't make myself rant about those kind of stuff...why waste effort and blog space for something like that when you have all the wonderful stuff to write about? (which by the way happened in the last two days of the week)

wonderful thing number1:
I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO WATCH TRANSFORMERS!

okay, after two weeks of super mighty longing, i was finally able to watch the transformers, and my gosh was it the best movie ever! i really loved how Shia was funny yet still kind of brave in the whole course of the story. it was really something! (haha!) and oh, thanks to czar for making arrangements. haha! thanks for convincing nikko and exe to come along with us. it was really great fun, especially now that nikko is actually talking to me already. (okay, now...how to break through Exe's wall??? hmmm. think!) and oh, czar, thanks for belting out with me in g-box. i had a great time. with you. you give me more reasons to smile. (yes naman!)

wonderful thing number 2:
I GOT TO WATCH HARRY POTTER!

okay, this was a wonderful thing for many reasons. first off, i really liked the movie. it was not as exciting as the goblet of fire but it gave justice to the book, and it served its purpose, i believe. it was a transitional thing for harry and so i was not really expecting that much from it. haha. okay, the person i was with during the movie deserves his own part in this blog entry so i would not discuss anything further about him. hehe. except the fact that i have a crush on him. (shhh! don't tell anyone that). so read on if you want more "chismis" about me.

wonderful thing number 3:
I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH THE BEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND THE PARTY WAS GREAT!

okay. need i say more? haha. the title speaks for itself right? i love being a CAMPer. i love CVC.

*****

okay, now comes the part most of my readers would want to know and would be most interested in. "the movie buddy". hmm, until this time, i would like to clear out that it was not really a date. it was more of an, uhm, movie gimick between two friends. it was not a "date". i paid for my own ticket, he paid for his. (i don't like it when guys pay for things). so because i have been asked oh so many times how we got to know each other, the story goes like this...when we were in first year, we had an FBC (freshmen block coordinator) who is his blockmate. i was introduced to him by this FBC. it was really not a big deal for me, at that time i was madly in love with their other blockmate. so there...during the second semester, we had classes which were on the same floor of GAB (gusaling andres bonifacio), and it was scheduled right after lunch time, so we got to talk every once in a while along the corridors. it was then that i started to notice that he was quite cute. (haha! block crush! haha.) well, actually, he is the epitome of whatever that is to be considered cute. then i got his number from somewhere (i could not actually remember where or from whom, but bottom line is that i got it) then after that we sort of started texting each other every once in a while. so one time, when i was really desperate to watch the transformers, i invited him (i didn't exactly understand why it was him that i chose invite), but unfortunately he didn't have the time and he said "Nxt tym nlng..Cguro ung upcoming movie k nlng n harypoter5.." so there, of course at first i thought it was a joke (no way was i watching a movie with this guy! super in my dreams!) but then i finally mustered the courage to ask him if he was serious about the harry potter thing. at first he didn't quite give me a straight answer, but something inside of me wanted his invitation to be serious. so there, on friday, July 13, 2007 (wow friday the 13th pala yun noh?!) he suddenly texted me that we watch the movie na. with the words "ngaun n"..so there, we watched the 1:45-4:00 screening. and all i can say is..."happy happy joy joy"..anyway, i'll write about him soon..let's all cross our fingers that this would not be the first and last time. (i really like him now)..

*****

dear you,

would you please please tell me what you feel? it's kind of hard to play the guessing game with you, especially since it involves feelings that can be misinterpreted most of the time. so please please tell me how you feel. i beg of you. okay, you can just show me signs if you don't want to say it. please make it clear..and soon.

sincerely,
me.

*****

dear harry potter,

thank you so much. i don't know why but, thank you. and oh, let's see if your thesis hypothesis is really true. and if all those reading would really pay off and would work (on me?!). haha! i know i agreed to be your thesis subject but please please draw the line between what is real and what is not. i wouldn't want to go around falling in love when it's all make believe in your world. i know that this is just a little thing, but i would really appreciate it if we would make things clear between us. we are friends right? and i'm happy with that already. i like you, yes i really do, but i wouldn't want to get hurt so there. i know i'm assuming so much by saying all of these, but i'm just being careful.

love,
me.

*****

something to think about:

One cannot question the existence of feelings;
they are there, raw and undeniable.
But one can choose not to nurture what is felt.
Yet, no matter what they say,
what has been felt will always be more honest than what has been chosen.
Hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart.

2007-07-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

to micole czar and da...i'm so sorry about this one.

i can't believe i am once again writing about a dream. yes, i call him a dream because i know that no matter what i do and no matter how hard i try, i will never stop liking him and will never have him either. (no pauleen, this one's a different person) i know that no matter how hard i convince myself, i will never stop liking him, for what he is, how he is and how he is toward me. i never really "dreamed" of someone like him, in fact everything i hate in this world i see in him, but it is just as if i am being drawn towards him every single time. i am at it again. i know that i gravitate towards things i cannot have, it's my nature, but i just can't make myself stop. please help me. i know that all i need is a little bump in the head and i'll be fine and dandy again. i know that i have recieved so many bumps in the head already, but i really need a really really hard one. i know that you can never be mine, i know that you would never really like me the way i want you to, i know that no matter how much i hate you i will forever love you, i know that no matter how much we fight about little things i can never win over you, i can never get over you. (GET A GIRLFRIEND NA KASI! demmit!)

*****

and oh,
congratulations to my friend

JOIICHI ODA

for winning the
Freestyle Dance Battle
during the
Philippine All-Star
Anniversary Party/Concert
last June 28, 2007

*****

congratulations din kay NIGEL at kay AYEN for winning the "BEST IN COSTUME" award nung CASP Acquaintance Party. Yehey! Two years in a row my dears! haha. sana hanggang sa Talent Show! go SP SOPHIES!

*****

and oh, thank you to the greatest guy in UPM for making us all happy! thank you so much ERIC! yehey! BLOCK 17 loves you! yehey! (sayang talaga, when you transfer to diliman, always remember that you have US in manila! we love you!)

2007-06-17T01:29:00.000+08:00

Realizations..after a third of a bottle of Fundador.

I had a really fun night. I got to host and to be with my friends from high school. It was a really great evening, but i knew in my heart that there was something missing. I mean, someone. Well, it was not after me and two or three of my friends finished the whle bottle of Fundador that i got to say my piece about this friend who I really like. Well, I will try my best to repeat every single thing that I said during the party, but i do not promise that it would be the exact same thing. So here it goes...

This GUY, whose name I shall not reveal for various reasons, is not really the type who would be considered my type by most of my college friends. It's not that he's not good looking, HE IS, but he's just not as remarkable as most of my crushes. And so with that, I put an end to all speculations that I have a crush on him, I DON'T. He was never the type who would give me butterflies in my stomach or who would make me feel all perky or funny inside whenever he walked by, nothing like that. But when I think about him, it's just impossible not to smile and think, "I could really spend the rest of my life with this guy..." Well, yeah I know, it is too early to really tell, but I really do feel that way. I know that he's not ready for any serious relationships or the like, right now, because mainly of how things turned out from his last relationship (which was AGES ago) and because he's so focused with school right now, and I think he seriuosly wants the white jacket. I seriously understand these things and I can seriously deal with them; I am very much willing to wait. And my willingness to wait goes beyond his pursuit of the white jacket, I am seriously going to wait and hope until there is nothing to hope for anymore. I know that it sounds crazy but that is how much I like him. (I would not want to use the word love as I am still not sure whether I truly love him or not. Oh, yes, I do love him, he's a great friend, but I'm still not sure whether or not the love that I feel for him goes beyond that.) I have seriously planned my life with him in each and every step of the way, it's not that I'm sure that he feels the same way about me, truth is, I do not really know how he feels about me, but I just can't ignore this nagging feeling and wanting of him being there beside me until the end. I know in my heart that even if the time comes that he already has a buldging stomach, receding hairline and not-so-cute face, I can still look at him and be happy. It really goes beyond what people normally think as "crush" or "puppy love", but it is too soon to say that "I have found forever". I know that he is the reason why no matter how many guys I meet, I can't make myself commit, because I know behind everything, I am seriously waiting for him, whether or not he knows this or not.

I am not closing any doors, I'm just hoping I find the key to this one. I know that there are a lot more people to meet and to know, lots more to build relationships with, I know that there is a very big possibility that HE and I will NEVER be together, and I'm okay with that, I know that if things don't work out as I planned, God has a better plan for me and that in that plan of His, I will be happier...I am just...really, really HOPING.

******

Okay, for those people reading my blog and who are really anti-romance or allergic to anything mushy, I'm so so sorry. I promise that this will be the first and last time I will be writing about him and how I feel about him. I love you all!

******

2007-06-13T10:42:00.000+08:00

MR. DESTINY
with the bad picture (blame the photographer)
(if i see you again, i'm gonna talk to you na...haha!)

2007-06-04T00:04:00.001+08:00

because words have been too overused...

i want one.

yes, after everything...

...i still want one.

hay.

yes...

...i want a headrest.

(give me one for my birthday..)

2007-06-02T02:15:00.000+08:00

the update my sister has been bugging me for.

Well, I have nothing profound to write about right now. I honestly have no inspiration, I mean seriously. It's kind of weird that I have to have an inspiration to write about stuff that's going on in my life, well in a very "profound" or fun or interesting manner at least. It's just so hard to put feelings and experiences into words. Maybe I just need to talk to Micki or someone again just to get my creative juices working again. Which by the way was sucked dry by all the stress and frustration brainstorming for the CVC avp gave me and of course, how could I not have the decency to mention my partner through it all Mr. JR Canono, who made me laugh so hard (on the inside of course) when he worte down, well actually typed, the words "chenes chenes". Okay, I think I stopped making sense after the third sentence, but I don't think that's my problem or is it?!hmm...*thinking..thinking...thinking..*

Anyway, so what CAN I talk about?! Oh, I think that it is just Blog-worthy to tell all of you guys that for the first time in N years, I fell down from a swing. *insert laughs here* So what happened was, we were in this "reunion" (which turned out to be a senior citizen party, given the mean age of the people who attended, people who looked like uncles and aunts turned out to be cousins and people who looked like cousins turned out to be nieces and nephews) and we were really bored (see my sister's blog), luckily they had these swings and they were all ours for the taking. So long story short, I was riding the swing as hard as I think it would allow me to and was planning on jumping from it when it reaches the heighest point in a half-swing, but being the impulsive coward that I am, I hesitated but of course, it was too late, so I had to jump or fall. So of course I did not want to fall flat on my face, so I jumped even if the Newton in me knew that I lacked the inertia, force and momentum (wow! Physics!) to safely land the jump, but I just had to, so I just relied on the balancing powers my ballet lessons gave me and the power of prayer, that I land the jump on my feet and not on my face. Surprisingly, I did land the jump, but unfortunately I eventually lost my balance and fell over and landed on my ass. Luckily, it was only my brother who witnessed one of the most-embarassing-moment-would-be's of mine, but all my cousins (Jon, Tep, Hanna) and my sister, turned their heads just in time to see me on my ass on the cement. *i know, insert more laughs here* It was really embarrassing, but then again, it could've been worse. (yeah, the WHOLE family could've witnessed it)

Lesson learned:
Appreciate the little things that would
make all your relatives not mind you even after falling with a pretty audible thud on the ground and never ever jump from a swing ever again.......
in the presence of other human beings, especially family.

2007-05-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

SKANKY BITHCES GO TO HELL.

2007-05-21T23:09:00.001+08:00

A BOBO DOLL
(not a stupid doll. a bobo (pronounced as bowbow {as in bow&arrow} doll)

A little while ago, a friend of mine and I were talking about this guy that I likeD (emphasis on the word tense) and how I don't like him anymore. Well, this friend, being a great friend of that person too, kept on insisting that I like him still. Then I kept on thinking of reasons on why I still treat him the same way even if I don't like him anymore. Well, partially the same way, I guess. Then, out of all the stigma of EDSP114, I suddenly remebered Bandura and his bobo doll. Then it hit me, he's my very own, BOBO DOLL.

For those of you who do not know what a bobo doll is, I'll tell you. A bobo doll is that toy that everybody does not know what to call. (haha!) Well, actually, it's that little cylindrical rubber toy that has sand at the bottom. Kids, well, they punch it, and by the powers of the laws of Physics, it comes back up again. My friend then asked if it were like a punching bag, and I think it's not the same as a punching bag. You see, although the purpose is fairly the same, there are a lot of differences between a bobo doll and a punching bag. For starters, a punching bag hangs from the ceiling, it's all way up there and kind of hard to reach, on the contrary a bobo doll stands on the floor and is definitely within a person's reach, it does not sway like a punching bag, it's just there. YES JUST THERE. Another notable difference is the way it comes back when you hit it. a punching bag, when punched, will go back in a swing as a reaction to the force you applied, it's all because of gravity and the force with which you hit it combined, nothing more. On the other hand, a bobo doll pops back up not because of gravity but because of the weight it holds at its feet, yes the force applied may really influence the velocity and force of the bobo doll when pops right back up, but only because the force you applied made it hit the floor and "bounce" back again, fighting back in a very different manner than the gravity-corrupting punching bag. The third difference between the two is the way by which their bodies are formed. The punching bag achieves its shape because of all the sand that fills it up. It is full and is heavy. However, the bobo doll is filled only with air and a little sand at its feet. IT IS EMPTY AND LIGHT. The next difference I can note between these two is the manner by which they loose their shape. A punching bag looses its shape when it looses its sand, through all the punching and force it takes everytime a person hits it. The stitches loosen with every punch and soon the sand in it will fall out. The bobo doll will loose its air when it is poked, when a pointed object is thrust through its skin and when that happens, there's only two things that it may trigger, either the bobo doll pops or it releases all of its air quietly. In the end, both the punching bag and the bobo doll will be a far cry from their previous forms, but their last difference is what is left when all of these happen. The punching bag will have nothing when all its sand falls out, however, the bobo doll, when all the empty light air is gone, will have that little bit of sand it quietly keeps below. IT WILL NEVER BE LEFT WITHOUT ANYTHING.

That is how I see him in my life. He is my bobo doll. My very own bobo doll. I may not solely own him, but in my eyes, he's my only bobo doll. HE'S JUST THERE, HE MAY APPEAR EMPTY AND LIGHT, BUT IN THE END, HE WILL NEVER BE LEFT WITHOUT ANYTHING or even anyone.

(No more explaining to do, I have done it all in the previous paragraph and
it is only up to my readers how they will interpret the things I just wrote.)

2007-05-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

It's funny to note that i just spent what, the last 30-45 minutes, watching babar and rupert the bear. i never ever had the chance of watching these cartoons on TV when i was young, and i didn't even know such shows exisited. You see, we never really had cable when i was young and the kiddie cartoons i watched then were limited to those that were dubbed from english or chinises or japanese and were seen on ABS-CBN, ABC5 and IBC13. The cartoons I distinctly remember include "Julio at Julia", "Sarah: Ang Munting Prinsesa" (who could ever forget miss minchin?!), "Heidi" (the girl who eats cheese and milk every single day, and never gets tired of it), "Super Boink" (i loved how the girl transforms into a pig to save the world...every chubby girl's super hero!) and of course, "Time Quest" (takure! takure!). The cartoon we watched back then were very limited and were either shown during the afternoon or at night, the rest of the day we spent on play. Playing is like the best thing a child could ever do, not minding anything and not thinking about anything more than how to beat the opponent or how the game is played (rules and all), i think that's the one thing kids miss these days. They're all so stuck up with computer games and cable that they miss this very important and very fun of being a child. Well, yeah, i know they're playing in their own rights but which part of their bodies are really moving?! Their fingers?! They should have at least half of what we had back then! They're effing missing the fun! Well, it's always nice to go back down memory lane and soak in the memories of childhood, remembering all the things we used to enjoy when we were still kids. Hey! I'm still a kid! YES! I still am! Even if that "child" in me in hidden deep inside of my heart and my mind! (yes! kid at heart and isip bata?!) I will always be a kid. Always and forever. :)

******

Thanks to Mr. Ralph Dexter Ko for inspiring my blog entry, although it's not much really. (i'm kinda sleepy na). Thanks to Babar and Rupert Bear (Bear is his last name!) for making me happy inside. haha. who knows?! i might write another entry dedicated to all the games we played when we were still young. hmm. we'll see. ;p

2007-05-13T14:58:00.000+08:00

It's so sad when things get messed up. I have been lied to for the past four months. I thought you changed already, but I guess i was wrong. i hate the fact that i believed you and everything you said. i was such a fool to have fallen for your trap. i thought you were my best friend? my gahd. now i just want to forget about everything. i want to forget about you. i do not want to see you ever again. GOODBYE.

SUMPRISE!

2007-05-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

I love surprises, especially when it happens when you least expect it. It's not about what the surprise is that really matters, but the thought that someone remembered you and exerted effort to make you smile. And that's why i dedicate the very first entry in my new and improved blogskin to the guy who made my day extra happy today. ERIC WONG. haha. i was joking about giving milay a surprise today (eric), instead i was the one who got the surprise. haha. maybe i'm just making a big deal out of the pringles i got, pero it was really touching. (hahaha! yes! i'm a mamon remember?!). well thanks again eric. hehehe.

******

Eric's gift for me!:)

2007-03-31T15:46:00.000+08:00

my summer vacation of still unkown number of days has officially begun...
but before that i would like to say a few thank you's

******

to MY BELOVED and GOOD LOOKING blockmates (SP 2010):

i love you to bits. all of you. thank you for a wonderful (yes naman, wonderful talaga!) year. i couldn't ask for anything better or greater than the year we had. the memories we shared in our first year of adventures in UP will forever be treasured. it was really a fantastic year for me! thank you so so much. thank you for putting up with me too. i know i'm not perfect and i can be a little bit of a lazy-macy sometimes, but you guys put up with me through it all. i know that the hardships are about to become harder and we're about to get as toxic as ever, but i couldn't ask for any other persons to go through all of it with than you guys. i know we will forever be there for each other. through thick and thin, walang tulog at kain...SP pa rin! (yes naman!)

*******

to da, czar, maic, majo, micole, minnie:

i love you girls. thanks for keeping me sane through all that work. (i have never had workload like that before!) thanks for all the afternoon lunchtime dates and all the laughing and sharing and singing and dancing and whining and horse-playing (demn! chemlab: no horse playing) and the ice cream sandwiches and bread talk and burger steak and coffee we had together. i'm so blessed i'm friends with 6 of the greatest girls in the world! i love you so so so so much. *hugs*

******

to pauleen and kaycee:

i never knew we would be as close as we are. i love you both. yes, depite all the taunting and teasing and making fun, i love you both, oh so much. it was really great that we got to experience college together. you two are very special, and i love you both. *hugs*

*******

to michael and miggy:

you two are the kings of SP. i love you both. i know that being boys and spending so much time with girls (each and everyday) can sometimes be a little irritating, but you put up with us. i love you both! for all the jokes (corny or funny), for all the taunting and teasing (in tandem with kays and pols), for all the fun times we had...thanks so much! *hugs*

*******

to anton(mr. honorary blockmate):

haha! thanks for the iceberg experience after that awful chem exam. you have been a great part of all our lives. the kuya, the kabarkada, the mentor (???), the pasimuno, the kakulitan, the kakwentuhan..you have been all of that and more to me and to all of us. i love you! and may you continue to be as immature and mature, care-free and serious, young and old as you are at all times! *hug*

*******

to benjo, micki, kevin, dan, jr, kim:

guys! thank you for the fun times and the sad ones na din..(yes, micki and kim heart to heart talk?!) for all the teasing and taunting looks (benjo!!!), for those conversations i never really had with other guys (jr!!!), for all the fun and luaghter (kevin!!!) and for the secret hand shake that we both almost always forget about (dan!!!)..thanks guys! i love you all! *kisses*

*******

to my highschool friends:

i miss you guys, i'm sorry i didn't come to any of our 2nd sem dates. i know you guys understand. thanks for putting up with me. i will always love you.<3.>

2007-03-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

i'm totally scared now. it's been months already but what i feel for you has not changed at all. things between us already changed, but i still remain attached to you and that kind of you that you allowed me to see. i never asked for it, i never expected it. you just happened. and i obviously fell head over heels. i don't know if a hate it or love it, all i know is that i just did. i really wanted to hold back, resist the feeling and not fall, but i just couldn't and now i'm a total wreck. i want to move on and leave everything behind, but everytime i find myself at the brink of doing so, i realize that everything that's happening only makes me fall for you even more. strange as it may sound, but i'm totally scared of you now. i'm scared to know that you don't feel the way i do, but i'm more scared to know that you feel the same way too. i hope you don't though. i really hope so. 'cause i know that it'll only make things more difficult and complicated. gahd. if only i can wish this feeling away. i don't want to be like this anymore.

*****

"Sometimes, it is not the possibility of rejection that frightens us. It is the thought of not knowing what happens next once you both find out that you feel the same way."

(my ate trying to sound profound)

*****

just tell me and i'll walk away for good. i'll be happy to do so, if that's going to make you happy. and if that's going to make things less complicated for you.
yes, that's how much i love you.

2007-03-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

okay. i promised a political statement/essay/entry/whatever. so i'll try to do so now.

*****

first, may i just say that i am oh so relieved that bojit herrera won. it proves that UPM students are still critical and are not easily swayed by emotional narrow minded individuals who say the same things over and over again and who resort to mudslinging and black propaganda. bojit herrera, in my point of view, is one of the the few brilliant men in our generation.(and so is anton de leon,who unfortunately lost to another emotional being,a very great loss for CAMP.)

now lets get to the primary issue and reasons why i voted and campaigned for bojit.

issue: the Tuition Fee Adjustment. (popularly known to the tibaks as TOFI) an overused issue throughout the whole academic year. personally, i think that the Tuition Fee Adjustment is not a bad move, and regardless of whether i am for it or against it is already a non-factor, for it has been passed. okay, let analyze the situation here. people are against the TFA because as they say, it is against the rights of the filipino students to affordable and quality education. i am not against that right, i actually acknowledge that right as one of the most important ones. however, because of the decline in the quality of education offered in Public Schools all over the country, a great number of the UPCAT passers come from the private schools. thenwhat hapens? those who pay as much as P80,000 for their high school education end up in UP paying what? P6,000 per semester? the government is subsidizing the rich in this set-up. the tax payers are paying for the education of the children of the rich. now, is that fair? i say no. but what can we do if those who are poor will surely be affected by this adjustment? i say we the studentry and the BOR compromise. let us make this a win-win situation for everyone. let's use our weapon, and that is the STFAP. now as my dear friend kaycee farol explained, the TFA will be based on the inflation rate of the country and the STFAP on the income of our parents. thus, there will be no direct connetion between STFAP grants and the adjustments. now people are complaining that the parameters that the STFAP set are too unreasonable, and that's why we have to get involved. let's move to make it a reasonable one. how? again through negotiations and vigilance. you see, if we would be able come up with an STFAP bracketing that is suitable to the studentry and make sure that it is implemented properly, then i don't think we would have any problems at all. moreover, it would also be wise to update the STFAP yearly as to make the necessary adjustments. it is not always a matter of the government being anti-student or anti-education, it is also a matter of adapting to the changing world. now this is my primary reason for voting and campagning for kuya bojit. because he had a plan, a plan B in that sense. while mr. palogan did not have one. bojit presented himself as a forward leader, a leader who would not stagnate and spend valuable time on issues that he can't really do anything about. instead he thinks of what he can do to make things lighter. rainier was too backward for me. he kept on ranting about the same issue over and over again. he always said that he would continue to fight for the students rights. how he would do it was not really clear. moerover, rainier did not present his fellow students a PLAN B. an alternative plan if and when he loses the fight agianst what he called the TOFI. futhermore, he showed no competence whatsoever. he was there only as a mascot. i don't believe he ran because he really wanted to, rather because the people around him, who think they are gods and who do not really have the studentry's welfare in mind and only their personal wants, wanted him to. at an early age, h's already being corrupted, and that's just sad. really sad. rainier palogan will be a batter union leader than USC chair. Bojit Herrera will go beyond that of the USC, he is destined for greatness. his legacy starts now.

******

may i say thank you to mr.juan miguel mendoza, who, despite his "tamad ako magtext" attitude, spent all day texting me. from the time he wole up to the time he fell asleep (tinulugan ba naman ako?! haha. joke lang) haha. you will never know how much i appreciate it. and i know that youknow too much already, but i will never stop telling you things. haha! you are in fact my BAKLA and i want you to know that i love you and i will always be here for you no matter what. and tha ti appreciate everything about you. thank you so so mch for being a great friend!

*****

to USC Counciclor Abi Rei Lui Datuimam:

sayang! tapos na yung contest! haha! sana naka sali tayo! ang cute nung pic natin i swear! haha! we would've won! haha. oh well. and oh congrats! :)) i knew you would win.=p. and oh, we missed you during the temple tour. haha. hmm. we really wanted to see you enter a mosque. hehe. anyhoot, see you! :)

*****

dear mr.sadeyes,

it does not matter. even if you break up with her now, i will never be yours anymore. you blew your chance. i can never be in a relationship wherein i know in my heart that i was only the second option. i was really hurt the last time, and i never want to hurt that way anymore. i'm sorry, but no matter what you say or do, i'll never be with you. because i don't want to. we will forever remain friends, though...

2007-03-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

it hurts more when you know that you lost to someone lesser than you.
whatever you have that is greater than that of your opponents' means nothing.
REALITY BITES.
I STILL THINK ANTON WOULD"VE BEEN A GREAT LEADER.
(and i would've been a better girlfriend to mr.sadeyes...)

*****

dahil mahal kita micki:

MAS GWAPO SI MICKI KESA SA DALAWANG DREAMBOYS

*****

it only takes a few moments to realize that you have fallen in love or that you have committed the greatest mistake.

i never wanted to fall in love with you. you were everything that i hated. everything that i despised in this world was in you. and i almost hated you. but in the funny twist of fate, i saw your light. brighter than any that i have seen before. it was like God was telling me that not everything i perceived was the case. and so i was happy. i really was. but then i had a glimpse on your darkness, a shadow of you i thought never existed. it was the most devastating event of my life. me seeing what i dreaded to see. and i almost hated you for that. no, i did hate you for that. but no matter how much darkness i see in you, i just cannot resist the light that shines from within you. it draws me back to you, each and every single time. and i hate you more for that, because no matter how flawed you are, you're still perfect to me. and no matter how you ignore me, i still want to be near you. and that no matter how much i deny it, i will always, always, end up falling for you. (but this will pass, right micki? this will all pass....)

*****

i'm suppose to post a political entry here, but i will do so in a later date. when everything's settled. and yes, i am pro bojit.

*****

I MISS YOU.

*****

2007-03-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

AS INSPIRED BY MARIE MICOLE GOTAUCO

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

2007-03-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

my SABAW letter to a friend in Boston. haha. sorry. CHEM sucked my brains out. LOL:

nothing much to miss. actually, my life can be summed up in to two, err, three words: family, school, BOYS. lol.

my lola died na nga pala. nung jan.31 lang. but it's all good. okay na kami.

school sucks. ang hirap. i'm this close to dying and/or committing suicide. i have been subjected to the worst of the worst academic/intellectual torture ever. and i have been conyofide by my blockmates and my zobel, AC, ateneo, southridge, CSA, whatever friends. haha. i rarely speak tagalog na. lol. bad. haha. i have no tagalog subjects pati,so i'm not compelled to speak tagalog, write tagalog or even think in tagalog in school. thus the magnitude of my english. so there. haha. i'm so so sorry for ranting out things to you. you see, it's 10:18pm right now here and i just got home. i barely had anything to eat the whole day,i haven't had dinner yet. worst of all, i have been subjected to yes, one of the academic/intellectual tortures, that regularly come, but surprisingly always surprises me. (OH YES! the magic of gahd demn UP. UGH.)

anyhoot, i have no current boyfriend but am having fun with a number of boys. (note having fun does not really mean or denote anything sexual, and or naughty). there's this scarcity of boys in my class. (trivia 4.1: out of the 30 blackmates i have,there are only 4 boys, 2 are friend types[i really love them], 1 is an intorvert, and the other one's just too much of a boy) thus, i have a lot of non-blockmate firends, majprity of which are very hot. (yes, from zobel, ateneo, csa and whatever, they come in bandwagons.) i consider myself lucky to be in their list of girl friends (yes, girl space friends), not being the prettiest nor hottest chick ever. HAHA! basta, i'm enjoying myself. i have a number of crushes, but all of them seem to see past through me. (yes, i do not exist in theri world/s, whatever the case maybe), but the point is, i'm enjoying. lol. REALLY ENJOYING. *insert more laughter here*

okay, i'm so sorry for the really really long reply to your message. i just really feel the need to rant and the most convenient way to do so is to type. LOL. and i'm pretty sure you have all the time in the world to read silly things like these. haha. anyhoot, i'm gonna post this message on my blog, haha. this letter is just too fantastic, i guess. ROFLMAO.

*okay, now insert sappy music here*
i really do hope your having the greatest of your time there. and i'm pretty sure you miss the philippines. i sure hope that you're alright too. a;ways remember that no matter where you are, if you have this (cursed?) country we all love to hate in your heart, you'll be alright. hope to hear from you soon. God bless! Ingat ka!(yes naman, tagalog.=p)

greetings! MABUHAY! haha.

2007-02-28T19:11:00.000+08:00

i haven't been able to blog since my lola died...yes...but i guess it's time.

---------

dear MR.SADEYES, ugh. whatever. you are just. *insert swearing here*. we're never gonna be the same again. i just know it. and i don't care. not really care, not as much as i would. you're stupid. girls like her. ugh. *insert more swearing here*. i regret some of the things i shared with you, thinking that maybe we were meant to be. but no. i was wrong. oh well. stupid me.

---------

2007-01-31T11:19:00.000+08:00

To the Sexiest Guitarist Alive:
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!!!!
(i love you and i miss you...)

2007-01-28T10:48:00.000+08:00

(ninakaw ko kay je dahil gusto ko ipabasa sa inyong lahat...)

ANG MGA BABAE TALAGA OO by redrope

*gabe. usapang lalake* *sindi ng yosi* *hithit* *buga* Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba. *hinga ng malalim* Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit `sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal. *tingin sa stars* Minsan naiisip ko, alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal? E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw at pagsuyo sa mahal nya? Ang feeling ng masaktan pag nabasted? Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo? *tingin sa malayo* Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang, lalake na ang naghihirap. Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago pa yun, kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun? Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba? Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the- max. Maghahatid sa bahay, tutulungan, sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod. At ano ang kapalit? Well, depende sa trip nila. Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodang mahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mga asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan. Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo. Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan. Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi. "Hindi pa `ko ready eh..", "Sorry pero I think we should just be friends..", "Ha? Uhhmm.. nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.." "Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?", "Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna..", "Para lang kitang kapatid e..", yaddah yaddah. Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa `yon para saten. *kuha ng bote ng beer* *lagok* *lunok* At hindi lang `yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin ang hassle. Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo. Sila? Ummm… Teka, isipin ko. Ayun. Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni. Ewan. Ganun ata talaga. *kuha ng bote ng beer* *lagok* *lunok* Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo ang bahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun. *hinga ng malalim* Pero alam mo tol, feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kung magmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindi yung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyo magseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan. Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal. *hinga ng malalim* *tingin sa malayo ulit* At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap. *singhot* Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong `to, either sawa na sila, hindi na tayo trip, may nahanap na silang better saten, o kaya they need f*cking space and time muna. Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayong choice. Sila ang masusunod. At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don? Syempre wasak na ang imahe naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan. Na playboy. Na nagpapaiyak. *iiling* Tayo siyempre ang mga antagonist at sila yung mga bidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak. Ang ending: mag-ooffer sila ng "friendship" kuno matapos tayong pagsawaan, lahat ng gifts naten nasa kanila, sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, "player" na ang image naten, at higit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saan nagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagiging single, at di na naman makakatulog. Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na lang naiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love ka no? Ako, kamusta? Eto. Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntong hininga. Titingin- tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni. Lalagok-lagok ng alak. Ang mga babae talaga, oo. **** Sa totoong buhay, hindi nagyoyosi ang may-akda. Kasalukuyan siyang may minamahal at naisulat niya ito isang gabing wala siyang magawa.

Ang Mga Lalake Talaga, oo (tugon kay redrope)

Ano ba itong si redrope? Kaming mga babae na naman ang nakita. Lalake, agrabyado. Lalake, kinakawawa. Lalake, hindi maintindihan. Hmmp, parang masyado yatang nagisa ang mga kabaro ko. Tungkol sa pagiging patas sa ngalan ng pag-ibig, kami naman ang laging talo a, hindi kayo. Kami ang laging lugi, kami ang laging nawawalan at iniiwan. Kapag ngumiti ka na ng konti, nag-ayos ng konti pagkakamalan ka nang malandi. Hindi pangseryosohang relasyon. Marinig lang nila na malakas kang magsalita, palengkera ka na. T.O. kagad sa kanila iyon. Mahilig silang tumingin sa mga babaeng sexy manamit, kulang nalang makita na kaluluwa. Pero kapag babaeng seryosohin at gustong ligawan dapat disente, dapat mala-anghel ang mukha, dapat mukhang inosente. Tapos kami pa raw ang mahilig mamili? Parang baliktad yata? Ok, ayan nanliligaw na si lalake. Dapat pakipot ka para suyuin ka, para habulin ka pa lalo. Kapag hindi ka naman nagpakipot "easy to get" naman ang tingin sa iyo. Hindi ka na seseryosohin. Sino bang may sabing magpaalila kayo, di naman namin hawak ang buhay niyo. Natural lang na magtiis kayo, may gusto kayo sa amin eh. Kapag nakuha niyo na iyon wala na lahat ng mga paghihirap niyo, babaliktad na ang sitwasyon kami naman ang mamromroblema. Para lang kayong may gustong bilhin na bagay. Upang mabili ito kailangan munang magsakripisyo, magtipid, magtiis. Pag nabili na at napagsawaan wala na, balewala na. Diyan ka na sa tabi-tabi. Tawagan nalang kita pag trip ko o kaya'y pag may gusto akong ipagawa sa iyo. Ano pa ba? E di sinagot mo na diba. Utang naloob pa natin yun. Dahil naghirap daw sila sa panliligaw dapat masuklian natin iyon ng higit pa. Sa umpisa kailangan malambing ka, maayos at laging magsisilbi sa kanya. Ayaw daw nilang humawak ng relasyon, pero kapag ikaw naman ang nagmando, aba, masasakal naman. Sasabihin pa sa iyo "demanding" ka. Meron ka pang maririnig na "I think we need space" at kung anu-ano pang ek-ek. Sino rin may sabing di dapat kami magpakabait, maging devoted at faithful? Kapag kami ang sumaway niyang mga iyan, iba na ang tingin sa amin. Malandi na kami, haliparot, pakawala, makikay at kung anu-ano pang mga bansag ang itatawag sa amin. Kapag kayo gumawa noon, ok lang. Lalake kayo eh, macho kayo pag ginawa niyo iyon. Kaya kami. Walang magawa. Magpapakaburo at magpapakamadre nalang. Kapag nagloko na kayo ano pa bang magagawa namin? Eh di iiyak nalang. Wala namang ibang magagawa eh. Tungkol naman sa tinatawag niyong pagdedemand namin. Hindi kami nagdedemand! Karapatan lang namin iyon. Karapatan namin na lambingin niyo kami, icheck at ipakita sa amin na mahal niyo kami. Hindi rin ibig sabihin na mas sincere kayo sa amin. Seryoso rin naman kami ah. At ang maturity wala yan sa edad. Mas maaga nga kaming magmature sa inyo. Ang isang 19 year old na lalake eh, isip 15 pa yun. It follows iyan sa lahat ng age group. Mas mataas pa nga kung minsan ang pagbawas ng level of maturity. Kayo na ang mag-math. Pati yung pag-iyak namin pinupuntirya niyo. Kesyo drama daw. Diba kapag umiyak ka nagbuhos ka ng emosyon diyan. Ano tingin niyo sa amin mga artista?! Alam niyo iyon? Yun bang kulang nalang ay lumuha ka na ng dugo, pero hindi ka pa rin papansinin. Sasabihan ka pang tigilan na ang pagdradrama. Hindi nila kami maintindihan kapag nagseselos kami. Bakit naman kami magseselos kung wala kaming nakikita? Mas iba kaming magmahal. Mas masarap. Kapag natapos na ang lambingan, eh di siyempre iwanan blues na. Kami pa raw ang nagsawa, kami pa raw ang nagtritrip lang. Sino ba ang lumalayas kapag may nakita nang bago, sino ba ang mayabang, sino ba ang nagmamalaki? Kami ba? Kami ang walang choice. Kasi ang babae pag sinabing "break na tayo" lambingin lang iyan ng konti balikan blues na iyan. Kapag ang lalake ang umayaw, pucha, bahala ka diyan. Kahit mag-tambling ka pa sa harap niya. Wa-epek. Umiyak ka ng bato. Wa- epek. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tapos sila pa raw ang kawawa. Post-break up, mahal pa ng babae si lalaki. Sasamantalahin ni lalaki. Magpapagawa ng kung anu-ano. Naaalala ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo. Kapag pumangit ka after the break up, magpapasalamat sila na iniwan ka nila. Kapag gumanda ka naman, ipagkakalat nila sa buong sangkatauhan na naging girlfriend ka niya. Sala sa init sala sa lamig talaga. Ano ba namang buhay to? Ang hirap ding maging babae ano. Kala nila laging sila nalang. Lagi rin kaming naiiwan sa ere. In-love din kami. Ang mga lalake talaga, oo.

2007-01-27T12:40:00.000+08:00

ME IN MY DREAMS...
(image by: jiro tamase)

******

ME IN REALITY...

UGH. DEMMIT.

2007-01-23T19:55:00.000+08:00

hey!

it's been a loooooong time since i last blogged. why? busy. this time, it's no longer a lame excuse i use to get myself out of dates or whatever invites. anyhoot, it's been, what, uhm, 15 days since my last entry. i think it is about time a blogged again. haha. well, my 15 days have been a total rollercoaster, sometimes even hell. (demmit! :o ) it was a combination of never ending academic torture (read: departmentals, reports, quizzes, assignments, running....), a whirlwind of emotions, from happiness to anger to confusion to temporary insanity, and of course total madness, induced mainly by the fact that i am an escaped mental patient. luckily, i have the best blockmates ever, who by all means, are keeping me safe, to much greater extent that usual. iheartmyblockmates. i also have my ever lovable family, who beyond the call of duty, lend me their ears for my silly stories of my even sillier everyday lofe. (okay, i'm starting to make no sense at all.) haha. thanks to jam also, for all the good times and bad times we've shared in a span of two weeks of being BFF's again. iheartyou.

a great shout out to my dearest, sexiest and hottest friend, DANIELLE SIMONE YAP ESCANO and together with vegetarian MICOLE and laughter inducing CZAR we shall say:

SUPER BITCH FULL ON ATTACK MODE!

2007-01-08T02:45:00.000+08:00

2:45 am; Chemistry and you

i'm still awake. yes it's 2:45 in the morning. i hafta learn this redox reaction in chemistry that i just can't understand. (that's an understatement by the way.) i really have the lowest chem IQ one can imagine. that's how bad i am. hmm. but it's kinda nice that i have you to keep me company. you'll never know how much comfort you give me. i wish everybody knew that too, so that when they look at you, they won't see someone who's just good looking, but someone who makes me happy inside. i know that despite the fact that i'm not gonna sleep, i will look cute/pretty/whatever tomorrow, because of you. because i feel your love, and that's enough. IHEARTYOU. *kisses*

christmas...new year...a great day.and one of the worsts..

2007-01-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

CHRISTMAS PARTEH!

it has been truly the best christmas of my teenage life. our block christmas party (read: venue=valenzuela..oh di ba?!) was the greatest i've ever had! the adventure of going to miggy's oh so remote mansion alone was great fun already. well, i met up with nisan (my inaanak?!) in the LRT2 train, then we walked the long tube connecting LRT2 and LRT1 (i kinda mis that place though), then off we went to monumento, where we were to meet all of our other blockmates. well, we turned out to be early. (our other blocmates turned out almost an hour later pa.) anyway, we then rode the jeepney to miggy's pad. and my gulay! that lousy jeepney druver kept on stepping on the breaks like we were in car chase in action movies! well, my blockmates screamed and screamed, (i frankly think that really ammused manong, though). well, when we got down the jeep (sa may iglesia ni cristo), we practically didn't know where we to go next! (haha!) and here comes girl scout ayen with her map (yes, she brought with her a map!) and we finally had directions on how to get to miggy's place. after walking n meters we were greeted by a waving miggy. (hahaha!!! parang kakandidato!) so there. (haha!! long trip noh!) well, it was worth it, the whole trip was worth it. we had a great christmas party. there was a lot of food, (which is good considering we all eat so much, except for micole) and the videoke was a total blast! O: well, i have more things to put in so i'll bullet the other details na lng..(^-^)

bunny and i were tigers (basta lahing pusa kami). we wore benjo's gift. czar was a geisha/clown,da was ~~cory aquino~~ lisa simpson pala.
i won the dress your mummy (in pink toilet papers) beating anton and err, i forgot the onther designer. (hahaha!!! take that anton! =p)
oh, oh, oh, Kuya dan/ kuya bob was there too!!! haha!!! SAYA!!
anton's BSB stint gave me BSB LSSes for a whole two weeks!!!!
oh, and people were all sweet, we all had gifts for each other. (iheartmyblockmates!!)

(ihavetorecaltheotherthingsthathappened,i'llgetbackonyouonthis)..

CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!

wow!! this is the best christmas eve i ever had. i spent it with 12 of my favorite persons in the world! apart from the delicious dinner we had and all the bonding moments, it was legal for us to drink and go wild! :o haha!! we almost finished 3 (yes 3) bottles of vodka (hahahaha!!!) and we danced our asses off pa!! haha!!! now who needs to go bar hopping?! well, the drinking and the dancing ended when two of our comrades were down, apart from their occasional trips either to the sink or the bathroom. (yes, drunk and down) so there (haha!!! how exclusive school-ish). it was the second christmas that we spent together, me and my cousins (although jiro's not here anymore) and it was a blast. we had so much gifts for each other and so much love. (iheartmyfamily). i hope every christmas, we'll be together.

NEW YEAR!

my new year was silent. yes, we didn't have firecrackers and it was frankly because of me. i don't like the noise. but we watched a lot of fireworks. (iheartfireworks!) my dad and i cooked, we ate, we slept. that was it. honestly, i like that kind of new year.

********

back to school

one of my greatest days:

hmm..january 4, 2007 marked the first day of classes for this year. as usual, i was very lazy! :o but i went to school anyway. hehe. hmm. well, i saw randel (yes, randel=math11) in the lrt train and we went to school na lang together. hehe. hmm. we had no ling class so we would be out na by 2:30 and we, ehem, agreed on watching a movie (kasal, kasali, kasalo). it was a great decision talaga. i loved the movie. i was laughing my ass off and was having a great time talaga! well, i watched it twice. long story. but it was good din that i was able to watch it again, (mas naintindihan ko). hmm. it was also good to be alone in the cinema with a guy, and his tongue's not in my mouth and there were no hands on either of us except our own , for a change. (haha!!! para bagong buhay talagat di ba?!) long story again. (haha!) hmm. i got home at around 8pm, but i was happy. especially because i didn't see mr.imtoogood.

lousy day:

today, january 5, 2007, was by far one of the lousiest days ever. i was late for a promised rendezvous, we were only able to talk for a few minutes. i really really felt so about that. i never break those kinds of promises! ARGH! and on top of that, I HAD THE WORST HEADACHE EVER. but i didn't want to bother any of my friends kaya i didn't complain na lang. and imagine being called masungit and asked several times why i've been so quiet, or if there's anything wrong or if i were sad?! haha! it's really funny how people notice those kinds of things. i mean. can't i be quiet and snobbish even if it's just for a day?! i have my bouts to. bear with me.oh, and the worst part, by 2:30, i was starting to have a fever. ARGH! AYOKO NA!!!!! demmit!!! i'm so lucky that i have the greatest friends in the world. (hindi ko yata kakayanin itong araw na ito nang wala sila..thanks guys!) hay. i'm just glad this day's over.

******

notes: for those who are wondering.

*i have a new year's resolution to not befriend insensitive asses anymore, so if you're one, be sure you've changed na before you talk to me.

*yes i am sad. i've been sad since the holidays. it's that kind of sadness that keeps coming back to you in the dead of the night, making you cry yourself to sleep every now and then.

*yes i am mad. do i have to explain myself pa? YOU should know why.

*yes i am confused. i have always been confused, and now it got more complicated. maybe i should really follow my first resolution, whihc only da knows.

*no. i don't love him. i hate him so much i could not care less about him anymore.

(note: any questions on the matters stated above may be forwarded to me. only yes or no questions wil be answered. no explanations are to be given. i also reserve the right to abstain form answering questions based on my better judgement)

2006-12-09T11:35:00.000+08:00

"I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT FROM NOW ON I WILL BE, AND WILL REMAIN TO BE,
A ONE MAN WOMAN"

2006-12-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

scribbles..tired and empty...

*******

to the man who was never mine, not mine and will never be mine...

You fascinate me. You really do. It's not because you look good, you always do. It's not because you filled my world with wonder again, you have always done so. And now I have realized that never in my wildest imaginations and dreams were you mine, are you mine and will be mine...and I have lived with the pain of that reality for quite sometime now. I know that I can live with it for quite some more time until this feeling's gone. I know that it will be difficult. It has been for the past several months. I'm so used to feeling the pain that I am starting not to care at all. It's been really hard trying to forget you by having someone else pre-occupy me. Not only is it not fair to the person, who has not a single clue that he is my therapeutic object, but it has been hurting me more for I have, in all honesty and sincerity, have been falling for this man, who has been so good and so perfect, that he too I know will never be mine. It's sad though that all my supposed-to-be-for-you affection meets its bitter ending here. After all the struggle and after all the fighting, I finally surrender and raise my white flags, for no matter what i say, no matter what i do, i know i can't help myself...I WILL ALWAYS FALL FOR YOU. Over and over again. But, yes I know, I can never have you.

******

to the girl who has been the secret enemy of my life...

You have everything already, why can't you spare me my happiness? Why can't you let me have him? What else that is in this world do you want? I can never be you, I can never be as perfect. I know that, and that makes everything worse. But why HIM? I know you could never love him the way I do, but if he would love you and if you would make him truly happy, then you can have him. And thus, I shall forever keep to myself these silly things, and forever remain a shadow. But if you cannot give him what he desrves, let alone what he wants, please give me a chance to try.

Loves and Kisses.

******

"Chaque fois que tu t'en vas...
Je simule que tout va bien...."

******

2006-11-27T22:17:00.000+08:00

S-P-E-E-C-H Pathology!!!

wooohoooooo!!!! we won!!! hahaha!!! after err, a week long of major cramming and complete chaos..we finally did it!!! we never really thought that we would win..(or i at least never thought so..), having finished the whole thing only the night before and having more adjustments on the day itself..all the long days of practice paid off..yes it all did..the fact that we were banned in the astral rooftop seemed such a small thing when we won..yes, i repeat, once again..we won!!! hahaha!!! this is definitely one of my proudest moments in college!!! (sure beats passing math11)

to my co-performers, great job guys!!!! we may have had bloopers (blue jeans), but we really pulled it of...to my PT group (sammy, bunny, bea and milay) great job guys!!! hehe!! i really had fun dancing with you guys...to the OT group (pols, kays, miggy, yssa and cha), we were really great!!! hehehe!!!..to the SP group (micole, marge, ayen, nigel, sani and karen), you guys made me nervous tlga..but you pulled it of!!!! congrats!!! and of course to the star of the show, who by her love for our block and her innate err, lakas ng loob, gave a sensational performance, nis,thanks for riskng your dignity..JOKE!!! wahahaha!!! =p (you will be forever loved guys!!!)

to the non-performers..you all did a great job!!!! i love you guys!!! but i do want to mention a few of you..michael, for yoor tireless efforts to make those t shists, and your intense and much appreciated leadership skills, (where would we be without you?!)..danielle, love, for your blood sweat and tears..i love you dear..thanks for everything..czar, minnie, maic and majo, your presence gave me comfort..thanks guys!!!...keizhia, thanks for the last minute make up..you really made a difference...i love you all guys!!!

let's continue making history together guys!!! i love you!!!!
(NEXT YEAR ULIT!!! back to back naman!!! hahaha!!! =p)

PS
to the PT block 19, thanks for your support repapips..to kevin, JR, micki, kim, dan, papa bear, jen and awie..i love you guys!!! thanks tlga..=p

******

Being the mamon that i am (yes da, yes czar, i do admit that i am a mamon), i wrote a poem..
(no it's more like scribbles on my notebook)

if john mayer has a love song for no one, this would be its counter part..

love ~~poem~~ scribbles for no one...

when i heard a love song today,
i remembered you.
you were never really my kind of guy,
but i really like you.

i saw the sunrise today,
its rays reminded me of you.
you never really talked to me,
but i really like you.

the stars twinkled in the night sky,
i saw a smiling face in them,
yes it was you.
you never really saw me,
but i really like you.

we may talk in silent words,
softer than whispers it may seem.
but i really do like you,
my sunshine, my moonbeam,
the shadow of my dreams.

******

(yes, czar, i know...it's cheesy..let me have my moments..haha!!!)

2006-11-19T12:02:00.000+08:00

haha..i watched two movies yesterday..(wahaha!!! ang gastos ko!!!=p)

the first movie i saw:

I waited three long weeks to see this movie...THREE WEEKS!!! But MY GAHD!!!, was it worth the wait!!! It was really some movie. I loved it. Aside from the fact that hugh jackman was so hot, it really made me think. It was so fun and mystifying. The plot was so well made that eventhough there were a lot of flashbacks and falshbacks of flashbacks, it made the movie all the more powerful. There were moments that may seem draggy, but every part of the movie was important to the whole story. I just loved it. I loved it. It was MAGICAL. So magical that, 5 days after wtching it, you would still be talking about it. It is one of the greatest movies of the year. I have nothing but praise for this movie. i definitely give this movie 5 STARS!! ABRAKADABRA!

okei..next movie please:

Okay. This one, i was very reluctant/hesitant to watch. Mainly because of Daniel Craig, that pouting man they chose to play James Bond. I really thought that it was going to be a suckish movie. BUT I WAS WRONG!!! SOOOO WRONG. THE MOVIE ROCKED!!!! It was one of the best, if not the best James Bond movie, of all time. It was so realistic. Unlike the ones with Pierce Brosnan, where 007 has all these gadgets and weapon, indestructible cars and a suit that never got dirty or even out of place. This time, it was more true. 007's car crashed, his suit got messy, he had blood all over his tux, his faced scarred. It was all realistic. And mind you all, eventhough, Daniel Craig is not as handsome as Pierce Brosnan, he was totally right for the role. He brought a new identity to the character. He had that certain charm that comleted the package. The story was a bit predictable, but it was still exicting. You would knoe what would happen in some parts yes, but you would be totally surprised on HOW it happens. it was definitely a 5 STAR movie. And now i can't get the james bond theme off my head. lesson learned: "never judge a movie by its lead actor.."

2006-11-16T20:34:00.000+08:00

HISTORY: Terrorism in the classroom

I swear!!! our History professor is a total pain in the behind! Gahd. Imagine a Greeting on the first day of the secand term that goes like this: "Everybody seated at the back move to the front. NOW!" Argh. It was really shocking. Then he goes and tells us to think of any asian country, (except the Philippines) and say everything we know about it. And err, No repeats! OMG. OMG. It was really nerve wracking. But of course being the alledgedly brave heart that i am, HINDI AKO NAGPASINDAK SA KANYA!!!! ABA! ang tapang ko. I chose the country which the world has the least knowledge of, NORTH KOREA!!! Oh Kim Il-Sung, guide my dead ass.

*****

Talent show: Pagsubok at Pakapalan

hay naku! nasusunukan tlga ng YUPI and kakapalan ng mukha ng isang tao. at sana ganun nga ka kapal ung akin para magawa lahat ng choreography ng aming talent show presentation ng kumpleto sa facial expression ng performance level ng hinid nahihiya sa mga nanunuid. hay! bwisit. hindi. kaya namin ito. kami pa. sp pa. kaya namin to. ay! sorry, inuulit unlit ko lng baka sakaling mawala ang kaba ko. hahaha.

*****

Bus Rides and LRT surfing: New Memories

err..i had my very first FUN bus ride today. and i couldn't have shared it with anyone better than antonite and abad. haha! it was really fun. especially the part where nisan and i watched anton be amazed of the GMA show Now And Forever. haha! grabe huh?! hahaha. well, we thought that anton's brilliant plan would get us home faster and easier. but no!!! it took us forever. in fact, anton finished watching Now and Forever. tsk tsk tsk. haha!!! well, anton was right, we walked less this time. haha!!! (tamad kasi maglakad si antonite). but the highlight of the whole trip happened while we were walking to the LRT2 Legarda Station. well as i said we were walking, then out of nowhere, a girl popped out and greeted nisan with a loud "HAH!" (with matching hand gesture). then nisan, being the amusing person that she is, looked at the girl with an expression i could only describe as an "anu kaya yun?!" look. the girl then being more surprised than nisan, made her way to the persons behind us, who i think are her friends and said, "kayo kasi eh, akala ko kayo.." while anton and i laugh our asses off. hahahahahaha!!! that was really something. haha!! that was a source of unlimited laughter inside the lrt train where we were in nisan's words "surfing". hahaha!!! "HAH!" wahahahaha!!!!

PS
*antonite, i know physics. hindi naman kita hahatakin sa direction kung saan ka nahuhulog eh! ikaw tlga. at hindi rin kita tinutulak. imagination mo lng yun. hahaha!!! =p

err..next time ulit..=p

******

HEY! thanks for everything. eventhough you called me a meanie today. well i am not. i told you that alien comment was meant to be funny and cute. haha!! well that's already settled. anyway, thanks for putting up with me, constantly making fun of you, and oh for that conversation when i was home alone. it'll always be remembered. ^_^.

2006-11-13T19:29:00.000+08:00

ERR..(expression of the week)

dear hey..

err..thanks for making my wishlist shorter..haha..although you will never ever get to read this..(i hope)..you're gesture is very bloggable..err..there...haha..wala na ako masabi..err..nasabi ko na sayo lahat..hahaha..

******

ten notable things of the month:

1.) my elastic bag looks like a condom..(my mom was so shocked when she saw it..haha!!!)
2.) i don't text as often anymore..
3.) err..
4.) i have made 3 recipes of polvoron..
5.) i spent too much on shoes
6.) i have been very sleepless
7.) i don't think of my asympotic pair anymore, he annoys me..(HEY!)
8.) i have been practicing my singing..(to no avail)
9.) err..
10.) i am starting to fall for someone..but it is only proper that i don't..so, err, i will not..for now

******

err...i realy have nothing to say...to anybody, right now..err..except..err..wait..haha!!!

POLS:

*err.."hey" is a guy..he knows he's hey..but he doesn't know my blog address...although, 3 ata silang "hey" sa buhay ko...but the "hey" i'm talking about is someone you know, ata..i'm not sure..haha!!!

*myk asked me kanina kung mahal ko si anton..at narealize ko na hindi pala..haha!!!!

*err..aun..wala lng..blog worthy kasi un..haha!!!

******

hmmm...i'm very very bored..haha!!! this is like the first time i updated my blog since forever..haha!!! it's quite funny though..so much has already happened, but i seemingly cannot write anything..i'm simply euphoric..haha!!! and oh, it's good to be back in school..(ooh, someone texted me..)..kahit na, vaca mood pa ako..and i am certainly not in the mmod to wake up early tomorrow for PE...hay!!! gahd..welcome back to reality..hay..sad but happy too..

******

LSS: Nothing in This World

Mood: Happy..but still waiting..(naks..ang drama)

2006-10-31T02:05:00.001+08:00

naku!!! nakaisip mag update!!!

hmm..it's been quite sometime already since i last updated my blog..i had to go on vacation you know..in my last blog entry, i was , ehem, very very angry..(thus the large bold red font color) but today..all that has already passed..hmm..maybe because i see that he's happy with what had happened...

I SURVIVED MATH11:

oooh..i passed math11!!! HURRAH!!!! (magpapaparty nanay ko.. :P)..kahit na hindi ako uno..na hindi naman tlga kasali sa options..eh okei na rin..=p

congrats din nga pala kay Mr. Jose Anton de Leon..na tuwang tuwa nang malaman na pumasa siya..na abot tenga ang ngiti, at halos tumalon...ang wierd mo tlga..wala ako masabi..haha!!! Joke lng.. peace!!!!=p

ay..oo nga pala..sorry naman po kay Mr. Joseph Ranier Canono na mistulang anino lng kanina..alam mo na yung dahilan nun di ba? nag usap na tayo di ba? =p..pero kahit anu pa man..nagsosorry pa din ako..paxenxa ka na..mejo nahawaan na din ako ng pagka wierd ni anton after two months of being seatmates..=p bagay sayo buhok mo..hinid pangit..para kang eminem..pero sa totoo lng bagay naman sa yo..haha!!!=p

salamat nga pala kay kuya benjo..big bro! salamat talaga..tinigilan na ako ni Mr. LRT2 3rd year from FEU..sinabi ko lng sakanya ang totoo..nahindi ko siya gusto at na nakakataot na siya..kasi malaking ang tendency niyang maging stalker..=p

********
para sa mga mata lamang ni Ms. Pauleen de Grano:

oo nga pala bago ko makalimutan..ung letter ko sa baba..ung galit, eh para un kay asymptotic pair pauleen...ung dahilan semi-confidential na ako lng ang may pakana at may kagagawan..malalaman din un ng sangkatauhan sa tamang panahon..

un namang nasa isa pang blog entry bago ung madugong liham eh para sa isang lalaki..na hinid ko inakalang makikilala ko, na pinaghinalaan kong bading at ngaun ay mabuti kong kaibigan..at hanggang doon n lng yun..ata...haha!!!

at kung hindi ka si pauleen, eh isa kang pasaway na hindi nagffollow ng directions..o isang usiserong gustong makisawsaw sa usapan namin..okei lng sa akin..dahil wala ka din naman maiintindihan sa mga pinagsusulat ko..kasi ung gamit namin ni pols na language eh elfish..(yung sa LOTR)..feeling mo lng tagalog o ingles..

*****

gusto ko tlga manuod ng the prestige...sana naman may sumama sa akin..boring manuod mag isa eh..walang thrill..basta wag lng si Mr. Lrt2 3rd yr from FEU...

*****

napakasaya ko ngaung araw na ito, kahit dumoble sa laki ang labi ko dahil sa bwiset na singaw, na sinabi ko na dahil sigurado madami magtatanong kung bkit paga ang labi ko..hindi ko alam kung tama ba ung tingin kong alam kong dahilan..na alam kong alam din ni danielle na totoong dahilan..o baka pananaw lng namin yun pareho..ewan ko..pero masaya tlga ako..pero di pa naman ako nagtatalon tulad ni anton..=p

PS
tagalog naman...
para maiba..
bobongish...

2006-10-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

hoy ikaw! OO IKAW!

ano ba? nananadya ka na ba? anu bang problema mo? bakit ba lahat n lng inaagaw mo? bakit lahat n lng ng tao na minamahal ko pinakekealaman mo? huh? anu ba kasi problema mo? huh? bakit pati siya huh? anu ba naman kasing problema mo? bakit ka na lang lagi sumusulpot sa buhay ng mga taong nakapalgid sa akin? pati ba naman siya? anu ka ba? utang na loob naman..anu ba? hindi ka pa ba titigil? alam mo bang nasaktan ako? bakit naman pati siya? anu ka bading? ayoko na..bakit ba? anu ba kasi gusto mo? sabihin mo lang..ibibgay ko sayo..wag lng pati siya..argh! ayoko na..ayoko na tlga..umalis ka na sa buhay ko! alam ko di kita matatakasan pero utang na loob naman..umalis ka na..ayoko na..sawang sawa na ako sa yo..tama na. PLEASE LNG.

2006-10-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

i find myself drawn to you...
i wouldn't want to speak too soon..
but i feel that there is really something...
what that something may be, i do not know..
but i really, feel something..
i hope it would be you..
i know i would be happy with you...

NO...

too soon...
let's wait..
see if there really is something...
I'm over HIM already...
you made me realize that..
thanks..
thank you so much..
for everything you have done...
with doing nothing at all..
we have three and a half more years to go...
let's wait...
let's not expect...
come what may...
but i know..

you would really make me happy....

2006-10-12T18:01:00.000+08:00

i'm officially in hell...

well, it's been nine long days since my last blog entry..and boy, so much has already happened!!!!!!! i was even on the verge of breaking down and giving up..my gahd!!! i never really imagined that my college life would be sooooo difficult..(which by the way, is an understatement)..i was lucky enough to survive the first two weeks of this month..it all started on the 8th..which marked the day of our PE finals in Diliman..which was not so much a struggle..it was fun actually, but what we had to go through after was capital H, capital E, capital L, capital L...argh!!! well, we had this insanely difficult homework, err, problem set for MATH11 (which BTW i'm failing)..it took me two days to finish..with a lot of help too..imagine the difficulty of that!!!! (one of our professors once said that our seatworks are final exams in other schools/colleges/universities!!!! ARGH!!!)...then we had our 3rd Departmental Exams on the 9th..time?? 5:30pm-7:30pm..gahd!!! that is just not right..and the worst part of such?? we had another Departmental Exams the next day for CHEMISTRY!!!! the best part??? the time we took it!!! which was 8:00am!!!! so imagine,if you just went through intellectual torture the night before, arrived home at around 9pm or 11pm for the more unfortunate one's, and because you devoted all your energy the previous days in studying for math in the hopes of paasing, you would have to study again, cover the entire section on chemistry, and guess what?? in less than 12 hours!!!! well, that is if you have crossed out sleeping and eating...argh!!! HEADACHE GALORE...well, guess what?? it doesn't stop there!!!! after your departmental exams in chemistry, you would have to attend another class in the afternoon, only to be given an assignment that is more draining..imagine squeezing a paper assignment in your very tight schedule?? imagine that?? huh?? and it's not just a simple paper..you would have answer ungodly questions that would never have crossed your mind if you were not taking philo and it has to be 8-15 pages, more importantly you would have to finish it by next week!!!! gahd!!!!, well after that class, you go home, but you have no time for rest at all..why?? because you have classes the next day!!!! and what would you do in that class this time??? oh nothing much, you would just have a 75 item exam on 5 chapters of Philippine History, which you haven't read because you were too busy with math then chem, and after the test you would have reports and presentations on previously given topics, the presentation by the way also counts as a long exam..so that is two exams in a day..that class of yours takes 6 hours to finish, and at the end, you find out that you failed the math dept's...argh!!!! the next day, you have no classes but would have to go to school anyway to see if you can still salvage your failing math grade and complete the compilation of readings for another exam in History, which will be on the day before the deadline of your Philo Paper...the readings, when complete would be another 5 chapters on Philippine History..now you are faced with a terrible challenge..how would you finish reading ALL of the readings and your paper with only 2 free days left??? why only 2?? well, you remember that you would have a presentation of your project proposal for NSTP..oh, the futility of such programs...and take note, this is not the end of it all, because you would have to endure 7 more days, packed with different final exams..with all of this, a continuous feeling of nausea, throbbing head and shaking knees...wow!!!! then your price comes..guess what?? SEMESTRAL BREAK!!!, which i think is too short..why?? it would be less than two weeks!!! gosh..this is my life..i have never read this many chapters of books in my life before..if i may say so, this has been one hell of a week, whihc is basically the worst ever..and the most difficult too..it has been a week of stress and sleep deprivation...a week when there was a point when i literally wanted to kill myslef..i'm soo tired..soo drained..i really want a break.no i don't want a break..i NEED a break..i swear, i'm going to sleep for two whole days during the sembreak..but, for now, i still have that feeling of nausea, throbbing head and shaking knees...heck, even my soul is tired and down...oh well, i chose this life..i chose The University of the Philippines over all the other Universities IN the Philippines..i should deal with this and continue to fight..what more can i do anyway???

2006-10-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

OH NO...

well, i have this chronic illness of being a little bit, err, madrama...about a lot of things..and recently i have been receiving text messages that were really striking...those that make one smile and think...

*****

Love thoughts aka CRAZY THINKING

from: .. |_| ..
1-Oct_2006
16:30:27

Later in life, you will learn the subtle difeerence between holding a hand and chaining a soul..you willlearn that love does not mean learning and company does not mean secutiry...you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts and presents are not promises..you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's grounds will be too uncertain for plans..after a while, you will learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much..so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers...you will learn that you can endure, that you are strong and that you have worth...

this one's a little bit sad..because it gives you less hope, or should i say, it shakes one's idealism..but it is also beautiful because it gives you a sense of reality..of what is, and not what one wishes..i really like the line "...plant your own garden and decorate your own sou instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers..", because it shook me..it gave somehting to really think about...i mean, all this time i was asking and yearning for that one person that would make me "complete"..when all the while i was am, complete...

*****

Change of heart???

from: .. *.* ..
02-Oct-2006
00:16:33

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, who are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you'll be like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find that person? ---Forget your head and listen to your heart. ~meet joe black

this one really touched me..because it sparks hope in the hearts..it gives you bakc that feeling of happiness..but it's also sad because all this time i have fallen head over heels, i have been crazy about him, and i have dismissed my reason and listened to my heart..but to date..i am still alone..maybe he was not the right person...

*****

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LET THE CANADIAN GOVERNMENT KNOW THAT WE CARE ABOUT SEALS.
PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK AND HELP SPREAD THE WORD.

SAVE THE BABY SEALS

2006-10-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

back to my BLOGGY mood again..

well, it's been six, (count that six) days since i last update my blog...i have no excuse for thursday and friday..when there was no electricity and the mood was just not right..but for the other days, i have none.although i have a lot of stories to share.. :P

*****

Bitten Once Again..

I was bitten by a bug when the elctricity came back last friday..no it was not a bed bug, or any other insect for that matter..a bug so powerful that it drove me into watching videos in youtube for hours and hours..it was the BOYBAND BUG!!! and the specifications of the strain is shown below..

well...i really do not know what happened that night i search WESTLIFE videos on youtube..but i suddenly got hooked!!!! and it has been my mission eversince to finish watching all 25,000++ videos they have on you tube...so far i've finished tabs 1-60 something..oh well, baduy na kung baduy..i'm definitely enjoying..hahaha!!!

*****

THE WONDERS BROWN OUT CAN GIVE YOU:

1. You get to talk to other people from school besides your blockmates.

Well, i had a great time talking with DK and Macky during the night of the brownout when everybody i know were either out of battery or would not really reply.

2. You get to appreciate the little things in life.

*eating nerds and m&m's in the dark
*hanging out with your cousins talking about anything
*candle light dinners
*a fully charged battery
*credits
*flashlights..(details later)

3. You get to send messages of concern to people you wouldn't usually send messages to because you're too shy.

4. You get to watch nature.

We watched our balete tree dance as the string winds come. Good thing it was not uprooted though..that would have been really really scary.

5. You get to enhance the powers of your imagination!!!!

well, in the dark you get to do a lot of things..haha!!! that sounded so sexual..anyway, who would've thought you could do so much with flashlights??? well, besides making shadow creatures on the wall and the classic vampire look, my cousin tep was able to create a dicovery-channel-ish presentation on the living roon wall..haha!!!! and it was really funny..if i were to give it title it would have been, "The Wonders Of Procreation" or "Behind the Kama Sutra"..ahaha!!! this time...you use your imagination.. :P

*****

SAVE THE POOR SEALS:

oh please do click this link...save the poor seals here....i really adore seals..and i hope you get the message out too...
CLICK ME

2006-09-25T18:21:00.000+08:00

i think that nothing would realy be better that to just type away today..it's also been quite sometine since i last updated my blog..and much has come to pass..well anyway..here goes..

*****

nice morning for me...

i rode the LRT2 today, as i do every single day, but today was gugulion times better than any
other day..WHY?? well, while i was on the escalator going down, i chanced upon a very famliar
face..one that has forever made my heart melt..he was right there in front of me!!! our eyes
locked for a moment, but we both looked down after a while..MY GAHD!!! he is definitely the
cutest, hottest guy i have ever seen!!! (well, hmmhmm is also cute..but not as hot..)...that
moment that was only about 5-10 seconds in reality lasted for a lifetime..and made me smile all
day..oh, how i love you... :).i hope i get to see him again..tomorrow..anytime..anywhere..he's just
too perfect tlga..haha..this is starting out to be nonsense..anyway..haha..wala lng..:P

*****

oooooohh..math...again...

i love you kuya edwin kahit na hindi tayo maxado nakapagusap kanina...i am really really thankful for your undying patience and presence..hahaha..although you once again wrote down HIS name..this time not on a piece of paper but on my hand..i still love you..thanks!!! oh, sorry for the flower and butterfly.. *hugs*

*****

i should've kept my mouth shut..

well, i was, as always, in Rob Food Court during lunch time...and i do not know what stupid hallucinations i had, but, i suddenly saw my friend tino, who was BTW studying at DLSU, so i started to shout:

kat: TINO!!!
(the guy looks for the voice)
kat: TINO!!!!
(was already sure it was tino)
kat: TINOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
(the guy just walks along)
kat: (badly wanting to be able to greet TINO, stood on the benches and walked pass miggy and ryan, ran as fast as my slippery shoes would permit, then tapped the guy at the back..)
kat: TINO!
(the guys looks at me..bewildered)
(it was NOT TINO!!!!)
kat: (overcome by embarassment) ay, sorry..
kat: (walks back to the table disappointed but more embarassed)
kat: hindi si tino..
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (laughing)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
micole: ( with teary eyes, mumbled) ansakit na ng tiyan ko...
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (laughed more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)
miggy, minnie, micole and da: (and more..)

oh, i'm never gonna do that again..ugh..never again..(turning red now..)..he really realle looked like tino though..he really did...

*****

missing in action:(people i usually see but didn't seen today)
IVAN (where is that nose??)
MACKY (for a guy your height, you should've been very visible..)
DK (i dunno..i just haven't seen you for a while..)
DION (you too..)
LEM (and you..)
Czar's SOULMATE (you should show yourself when czar's with me..)

2006-09-21T16:30:00.000+08:00

SECRETARY RAUL GONZALES

A man who parades himself as a king when all this time all he had been and will be is a court jester/puppet. A person of great mediocirty and stupidity. One cannot fathom what silly committee approved such appointee to an office with great power. Moreover, it is unlikely that the greatest mathemetician in the world could calculate how such small a man can contain so much stupidity in his body. Does not think before he ~~speaks~~ opens his mouth. Was not taught to keep quiet and shut up, when all he has to say is garbage.

I have for the longest time been wanting to post this entry in my blog. I know that my action is actually punishable by law, but if speaking your mind and expressing your thoughts against this silly excuse we have for a governmen is a crime, then I am guilty and PROUD of it. I was never pro- or anti- government, i was just a spectator and still am. Being a UP student does not automatically make me a "destabilizer" nor thus it automatically imply that i am one of those protesters braving police infested streets. It just means that I actually am learning how to think. Not what to know, but how to think.

It is very unfortunate though that there are so many people who refuse to think, would not bother to think, or was not taught how to think. However, they are still luckier than those who, like our dear goody-goody secretary, are not physiologically capable of thinking, just opening their mouths. I pity you dear secretary. I really do. For how can a man so powerful as you can be so feeble minded? A pea-brain so to speak. A mystery not to be meddled with, but should definitely be dealt with.

I never liked the secretary, I admit. His very presence is one of those that would make a person shudder with disgust and nausea. Consequently, his manner of speaking leaves people in total bewilderment as to how such man of such many unintelligent words be part of the cabinet. I am left puzzled too.'

i do, however, have ten (10) few tips/ reminders/ requests for el secretaria:

There's a big difference between speaking in english while thnking in english and thinking in Tagalog while translating your thoughts to English.
Get a course on proper use of the English Language
Buy "An Idiot's guide to Speaking English" (if there is one)
Don't talk about things beyond your intellectual capacity, which is BTW that of a monkey.
Think before you speak. that is if you know how to think.
Don't go around parading your alma mater, think of the embarassment it would cause your school.
Take lessons in Good Manners and Right Conduct and start from the very beginning: 1st grade.
Get over the fact that you didn't pass the UPCAT during your ancient times and lay off our backs. Bitterness will get you nowhere.
Stop protecting that silly excuse we have for a president, donning a fake smile and interestingly gargantuous mole, who by my friend's terms, carries a pink pitchfork.

and last but not the least:

JUST STOP TALKING ALL IN ALL. The world does not need any of your stupid remarks/ opinions/ views, which should be made synonymous to non-sense in every dictionary known to men by now.

and oh, charge me with libel/inciting to sedition or in layman's terms speaking out and expressing my feelings, try me in court, convict me for a make-shift crime, have me abducted and killed, let's see who would look silly in the end. At least i'm not a blabbering monkey with a pea as an excuse for a brain.

Below is link to a written/published article by one of wisest youth models of today and my personal idol, rebuttling what our secretary said about UP students. I share this with you not to make you mad or hate el secretaria, but to spare you from the gift our dear secretary has been deprived of, a gift he chose to throw away for the sake of connections and financial stability. Moreover, it gives proof that UP students are, in every sense of the word "scholars" of the people and for the people, and that we do not have to pickett just to prove it.

REBEL WITHOUT A CLUE: Payback

2006-09-20T09:45:00.000+08:00

For you..(i hope you get to read this..)

Dear hey,

What's up? I know we haven't spoken for a while. I was thinking about you and it kinda made me smile. So many things to say, I'm going to put them in a letter. I thought it might be easier and the words might come out better. How's your mother? How's your little sister? So many things I want to know the answers to. I wish i could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of you and me.

I'm sorry, i really didn't mean to ramble on, but there are just a lot of feelings that needs to be gone. I guess you thought i would put it all behind me, but it seems that there are things that are always there to remind me, like a silly joke or something on the TV. It's not easy. Wish i could press rewind and turn back the hands of time.

I've tried and i've tried to get you out of my mind, but it doesn;t get better as each day goes by. Now I'm lost and confused, i have nothing to lose. Hope to hear from you soon

PS
I'm still in love with you

*****

my feelings for hmmhmm at this moment:

I miss you hmmhmm. I really want to talk to you again. The way we used to. And i don't want anybody to persuade you to do so, I want it to come from you. I just miss you, you see. Not for anything else, but at least for your friendship. I really liked you as a person, but somehow you've changed. And i still can't get over that. I think your just cowering away, from what, i don't know. I just think that you haven't been your true self lately. What's up? Why is your mask on? Can't you just be true once in a while and not think of anything else but what you want? I really dunno. I hope we get to talk though. Not just small brief talks, but like the one's we used to have.

PS
I'm not asking you for anything.
Just a little chat.
That's all.

*****

"It was LUST at first sight"
-danielle on our eye candy

2006-09-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

it's been quite a while..

hmm..i was deeply inspired by czar's blog and also took that personality test thing..

Here's the list of the people i share personalities with: (very odd..)

David, King of Israel, (maybe i could rule my own kingdom too!!)
Abraham Lincoln, (i would not want to be assasinated..)
Ronald Reagan, (i really really want to keep ma memory intact though..)
William Cullen Bryant, poet
Abraham Maslow, psychologist and proponent of self-actualization
Ross Perot
Sean Connery (wow!!)
Elizabeth Dole
Francois Mitterand
Dick Van Dyke
Andy Griffith
James Garner
William Aramony, former president of United Way
Gene Hackman (Superman, Antz) (really?!)
Dennis Hopper (Speed)
Brenda Vaccaro
Craig T. Nelson (Coach)
Diane Sawyer (Good Morning America)
Randy Quaid (Bye Bye, Love; Independence Day)
Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive) (aliens here i come!!!)
Kirstie Alley ("Cheers," Look Who's Talking movies) (i admit we have the same body type)
Michael Jordan, NBA basketball player (i can't jump that high..)
Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean) (am i that sexy?! *kidding*)
Oprah Winfrey (ooooh..both smart asses i see..i hope i had her money..*joking*)
Bob Saget America's Funniest Home Videos, Full House
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("Seinfeld")
Ben Stiller (The Royal Tenenbaums) (haha..i take this one as a compliment..)
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts quarterback
Matthew McConaughey (The Wedding Planner) (i am sexy!!!)
Pete Sampras, Tennis Champion
Lauren Graham ("Gilmore Girls")
Ben Affleck (The Sum Of All Fears)
John Cusack (High Fidelity)
Joe Hackett, Wings

and if czar is an INFP i am actually an ENFJ person!!Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Judging!!!
(yeah.. i guess i am..)

*****

hmm..catching up:

it's been quite a while since my last blog entry..i went home to batangas where the only thing i wanted to do was sleep..well nothing much really...i mean i forgot all about it..weeeeeeee!!!!!!! i just needed to update my blog to catch up adn get my system starting again..weeeeheeeee!!!!!
well...i'll do it my updates in bullets...

the Philo exam was a disaster..i left early, because i was already getting hungry
i went home to batangas on a bus and surprisingly with TINO!!!! (i missed that guy so much..)
i had my braces adjusted..
i made tasteless salad for the first time in my whole life!!!
i gained a few pounds..(OH NO!)
i went back to reality sunday evening..with 4kg of coffee beans in my bag..literally!!!
i ate lamb for the first time!!! (yum!)
it's TEP's birthday today!!! (wow 18 na xa..)
i saw my eye candy frst thing in the morning..which made my day complete..
i had fun in math and comm..soc sci..
laughed all session during comm BTW..(i love michael!!)
i still am confused about my asymptotic pair and my forever bestfriend...(i really really love the other one, but i really really really am falling for the other one..)
it was the first time somebody called me Katrina Antonette..(bad joke BTW..)
i forgot to tell you that i got perfect in my soc sci quiz..(thanks minnie!!!)
i ate too much munchkins during lunch
i just adore kuya edwin..(really funny creature..thanks for the support!)
i really love majo!!! (for everything..)
i have a test on nat sci tomorrow..
i haven't studied yet..
i am about to study though..just finishing my blog..

i will become a professional stalker tomorrow!!! (woooooo!!! hotness!!!)

hmm..eye candy for the eyes..but i wouldn't mind if i could be his friend...^_^

Notice To the Public:
Any information about a certain hot guy in UPM will be much appreciated...
cellphone number and schedule will be on top of the list...
THANKS!!!

2006-09-15T16:18:00.000+08:00

friday (na naman!)..

it's not a hate campaign:
i know and you know that i don't like her and i am very vocal about it..especially these past few days..i also realia the fact that we will be together for a long time..but i don not really like her..call me an @$$ but i really do not like her..i have tried mighty hard to like her, even accept her..but i just can't..i know that when i say things about her, things that i do not make up but only observe, it always comes out negative..because it is, most of the time..i just do not like her..i am not asking anybody to hate her too because i do, it's not a hate camapign..i have just had too much already..i cannot stomach her anymore..one of these days, if she persists to be like this, she will definitely hear from me..i do not care anymore..this has got to stop..i say no more..but like i said these are just my own opinions and views..it's not a hate campaign..just my mind talking..

*****

teriyaki friday!:
today i had the greatest lunch ever! we ate at TERIYAKI BOY in Rob..and it was absolutely fun..not just because of the food but also because of the company..we ate so much..but we shared each and everything..and it was really fun..although i really wish everyvody were there..not really the whole block, but my friends..our then separated now together group..i really love my UPM family..i hope we have more times like these..(i'm sure we will, and the next time, everybody will be present..)..i really miss miggy though..i mean, yes we are mos of the time together in the same group, but uhm, things have becamo different now..but i still love him though..and everybady else..

*****

Project Boyfriend Update:
since i would have to study and finish my paper tonight, i now update my blog..as promised, i have an update on the scores and little captions..last week both my asymptotic pair and forever bestfriend had zero points and were behind my co-superhero who had 2 points..this week:

aymptotic pair: 1

(the universe has once more conspired for us to collide.)

forever bestfriend: 1

cute.funny.adorable.nice time to see you..(i'm actually crushing on you now..)

co-superhero: 2-1=1

kakatampo ka! ARGH! HRMPF!!

2006-09-15T00:52:00.000+08:00

this space for rent: inquire inside

hmm..as i type my blog..my right ankle is still, so to say..swollen..swollen from last's tuesday's adventure..thank God however that czar's okei..(i love you czar!)

*****

snip snip:
well, yesterday, i finally had my haircut! (yes! thanks tita malen, thanks kuya tep!)..when i was sitting on the chair Verna (the lady who cuts our hair) asked me what cut i would want.having no idea at all, i said that i t was up to her..just as long as she takes only two inches off..

Verna: Ay! parang hindi ka din nagpagupit!
Kat: Ah..o cge po,uhm..kayo na lang po bahala..basta po ung hindi mahirap i-maintain at tska ma popony tail ko pa rin..

Afterabout more than 30 minutes of hair cutting, i am now left with hair that is about 5/8-6/8 it's original length, but i absolutely adore!!

First Day High: (the hair chronicles)
well, err..yesterday, was the frist day i went to school with my new haircut..and although majority of the population, (those i know), liked it..i present to you the best and the worst reaction i got...

the best reaction goes to..(drumroll please)..
DANIELLE!!!

(in the CAS library)
Kat: Hi guys!
Da: (looks at me with big bright eyes..)
Da: (smiles that toothy smile of hers)
Da: (holds the ends of my very short hair)
Da: Ahhhhhh!!! you look so cute!!! (with matching hair shaking..)
Kat: i know right! (thinking, "da?! anu ginagawa mo sa buhok ko?!)

the worst reaction..(which BTW has only 2 contenders..)..goes to..:(boos go in here!)
IVAN!!!!

(hmm..before 1pm)
text ni kat kay Ivan:
Ivan, asan k?(insert smiley here)
LATE reply ni ivan:
Cafe.

inside GAB lobby:
Kat: Ivan!!!
Ivan: Uy! bakit?!
Kat: Wala lang..tignan mo, all my hair's gone!!!
Ivan: oo nga...ngak! Bakit??
Kat: wala lng..( i forgot what i actually said)
Ivan: pangit..(or something like that)
Kat: (with disapointment) kaw din pag-gupit ka na, ampangit na ng buhok mo..
Ivan: papagupit na naman ako, kakapagupit ko pa lang nung isang araw...

hrmpf! Ivan talaga..hinanap pa naman tlga kita para ipakita sayo..tapos ayaw mo pala...(insert sad smiley here..)

*****

wanting and longing:
hmm..i was walking with czar back to CAS after lunch..both of us were carrying big, heavy bags..

czar: I need to get a boyfriend from UPM
kat: why?
czar: so that i would have a bag carrier..(or something like that..)
kat: yeah..me too..(seriously)..and a lunch buyer (jokingly)
czar: and a hand holder when it's cold
kat: and a shoulder i can lean my head on..
czar: yes..that's right..
kat: and someone to cuddle me when i feel bad (cuddle=lambing)

(then bursts of laughter thereafter, for we knew we were once again day dreaming..)
(HE came into mind by the way..i fell silent once again..)

but maybe i do want/long for that..i mean, beyond the bag carrying/lunch buying stuff (which i do not really agree with, boyfriend is not equal to yaya/daddy)..i do want someone who would make lambing (yuck! conyo!) when i feel bad, who would be my kakwentuhan about anything, who would make me feel good about everything, one who would be my best friend, onw who would be there always..just there..not needing to say or do anything to make me feel special..just being there..oh well, it's a nice thought..but i live in reality..(i do not have that)..

*****

to Pauleen:
i really appreciate the fact that you take time to read my blog..
i just want to clear somethings..para masaya!!
1.) tama ka kung sino yung pinaguusapan namin at kausap ko sa conversation..although hindi mo pa nababasa yung buong conversation...
2.) yung sinasabi ko na wala na dun sa conversation namin eh nadun pa rin pala...
3.) tama ka din dun sa true identity ni forever bestfriend sa project boyfriend..
4.) no, hindi si ivan si co-superhero..(incest yun..di pwede..)
5.) wala na ako masabi..basta mag uupdate ako bukas or sa sat ng project boyfriend..

"Papano ko sasabihin sakanya na mahal ko siya? Kakain ako ng sandaang hopia!"
-Doreamon (text messagefrom czar..)

2006-09-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

a day in the life of ME:

late:(again)

hmm..i woke up at 6:55am..but the force pulling my eyelids down was too strong..so i fell aspleep once again..the next thing i knew?! it was 7:30!!! i'm gonna be late for natsci!!! AGAIN!!! hmm..but instead of going through my mad dash like the other time..i was as slow as a turtle..i eve considered not going to my first class..(but thanks to danielle my conscience was shook up despite my sleeping mind and body)..i still went to my class...although i was a few minutes late..(my class starts at 8:30 btw)..well..chem was pretty fun..my teacher taught us the existence of the mistizo and mistiza orbitals..and all those other stuff..and for the record i was indeed able to follow..(inside joke!!! Can you follow???)

reason for being late:
kausapin niyo yung dupang na langaw..na humihingi ng tulong ng 1:45 ng umaga at saktong kapapatay lng ng laptop..

Histo1:(kaklase ko ang dupang na langaw dito..=p)
wala naman nagyari sa histo class namin..nag ingay lang kami ni nissan..wala ako ibang makausap kasi wala si da or si czar..at to my surprise ito ay dahil dinala nila si czar sa clinic!!! (huwaw!! first ever na nadala sa clinic..czar deserves an award..)..dahil sa aking tinatawag na czar's painful lower-right abnominal quadrant na isa sa mga symptoms ng appendicitis..(huwaw!!! feeling doctor! alam ko kaya talaga ibig sabihin nun?!)..at guess what?! @*$%!&# ^!&amp;amp;amp;#&*$! $&!)^$&! $^!&($^)!..(section omitted by blog regulatory board [brb (be right back?!)])..weniway..pag talaga si nissan ang katabi...hay nissan...bakit ka kasi nag blue today?? (huh?! ang layo nun ah!!!)..

PGH!!!:
at ayun na nga po..natapos ang histo class namin at dalidali kong hinanap sina czar, minnie at danielle..at dahilsa aking common sense, naisipan kong pumunta sa health service (sossy na tawag sa clinic..) dahil dun lng naman ang logical na lugar na pupuntahan nila..pero xempre, isa na naman itong frosh experience (frosh=freshie=college freshman), dahil hinid ko talaga alam kung paano pumunta ng health service pag pumasok ka ng faura..pero dahil nga isa akong super hero eh..nakarating ako dun..wait!!! REWIND REWIND REWIND!!! balik tayo sa frosh experience!!! at xempre di ba?! nagmamadali akong naglalakad (brisk walk ata mas appropriate) kasi naman baka kung ano nang nagyari kay czarina asperilla di ba?! at baka kulang na siya ng laman loob (organs naman..mas demure!) pag nagkita kami ulit..at alam niyo ba na sa aking pagmamadali..(clears throat)..dahil ospital ang PGH, eh may isang nurse na may dalang wheelchair na may tao ang nasa harap ko..at grabe!!! ang baaaagaaal nila..nakakasira ng momentum..at kaya, dahil sa aking pagnanais na maabutang buo si czar eh nag overtake ako sa wheelchair na iyon..at ang malas ko dahil walang one way sa mga hallway kaya kinailangan kong bumalik sa line ng direction ko di ba?? at alam niyo ba na sa aking pagbalik ay..(insert suspense music here)..PUG!!! aray!!! tumama sa isang gulong nung mabagl sa wheelchair ang right ankle ko..at dahil sa ayaw kong tumigil, mapahiya, umiyak sa sakit at hindi maabutan si czar eh, sige lang ako sa aking brisk walk na sa mga panahong iyon ay naging brisk dragging ng right foot..at makailang hakabang palang ako eh ramdam ko na ang pagakyat ng sakit patungo sa aking tuhod at parang mahuhulog na lang ako anu mang oras sa hallway na parang leaning tower of pisa..naku hindi!! foreign un masyado..un na lng building sa divisoria na nahulog..hahaha!!!

PGH LESSON ONE:
wag makikipag race sa whelchairs dahil talo ng gulong ang paa (lalo na pag naka tsinelas ka lng)..

PGH!!!!:the sequel:
dahil sa ayaw kong iwanan ang aking kaibigan sa PGH, eh hindi na kami ni majo umattend ng Philo class namin..at piniling maghintay sa tahimik, malamig ngunit walang signal na receiving area sa health service..(ay may signal pala pabugso bugso..)..at dahil sa naiinip na ako at wala na akong magawa habang hinihintay ang doktor, eh hindi ko alam kung anung tuliling ang pumasok sa utak ko at naisipan kong palitan ang ilang mga piling pangalan sa aking phonebook (sa phone ko xempre di ba?!) ng mga nakakaliw na smileys!!! at oo, naaliw nga ako..sa pagiisip kung anong smiley ang gagamitin at para kanino..pero ng lumaon eh nakaharap k ang isang malaking problema!!! HINDI KO MAALALA KUNG SINO SINO UNG MGA SMILEY!!!! hay..kung alam niyo lng ang hirap na dinanas ko sa panghuhula kung sino sino sila..pero xempre..dahil ako ang dakilang baliw..hindi ko pa rin ppinapalitan ang kanilang mga pangalan at nanatili silang mga smiley..(meet: :-* , ..~~,.. , ..~.~.. , ..^_^.. , .. :x .. , oh di ba astig?! sana lang naalala ko silang lahat at hindi mali ang masendan ko ng msg one of these days..)

PGH LESSON TWO:
umupo na lamang ng tahimik, wag ng pakialaman ang mga bagay na hindi na dapat binubusis..

note: huwaw!! nakaktuwa namang basahin ang aking taglish na entry ngayon!!! taglish kasi ung umpisa ay ingles habang ang pahuing bahagi naman ay nasa tagalog..salamat bob! mabuhay ka!

hay..PGH nga naman..maraming lessons ang tinuturo sa mga UPM students..ngaun nga lang hindi ko alam kung anung saysay ng mga lesson na ito sa buhay ko at sa aking napipitong paggawa ng philo paper at pagpapagupit na mga highlight ng araw ko bukas..wala lng..preview..

2006-09-12T00:28:00.001+08:00

i have nothing to write about today:

really..

nothing..

as..

in..

blank..

ooohh..

now...

i..

know..

*****

OH MY GOOGLY THOUGHTS:
i went on line this evening, and to my surprise, GENPOT was OL!!!(oooh, i miss you potpot!)..i just love it when i get to talk with my HS barkada...especially genpot..i love you gen, gugulion times..gugulion gugulion gugulion times...thanks for making me smile today and making my day kahit na gabi na..i really really miss you gugulion times...i love you...gugulion gugulion gugulion gugulion gugulion times..MWAAAH!!!! :-*...(GO FOR GOLD!!)...

*****

lonely math:
i sat alone during math today...absent kasi si kuya edwin..na naman..hay!!! how sad...hmm...~~i started to miss somebody tuloy~~..did i just say that out loud?! kuya edwin, di ka na pwede mag absent sa thursday...

2006-09-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVIS!!!

passing notes in class:

i have for the longest time ever, been contemplating on whether or not the following conversation/s should see the light of day..but since i have nothing else to post..and i badly want to update my blog..as a therapy and release of my innate craziness..WHAT THE HECK!!! (i'm good naman in omitting names eh...)

dedicated to my kuya who ever so tenderly put up with my physical, emotional and intellectual tortures..(you will forever be remembered and loved...including your ninja turtles...)

the first day of the passing thing:
(a day when i was in a different dimension and was not really me, and my dear kuya noticed it..and asked me "bakit ang sungit mo ngayon?" along with his endless taunting of his fantasies about me and this guy)

the conversation went like this:

kuya, oo, dati, inaamin ko tama ka, pero ngayon hindi na, wala na...as in wala na talaga..katulad nga ng sabi nila (hindi ko na lang sasabihin kung sino sila), He's not worth the risk..Oo nung una nag-risk ako, pero ayaw ko na..nasasaktan na ako..(haha!! ang drama!!).come what may na lng.
PS: hindi ako masungit!
ako ang pinakamabait na tao sa mundo! JOKE!

[next part skipped...it involves too many names..not good]

Hindi no!..(next part skipped again...reason see above)...move on?! OK na kaya ako! tapos na yun...wala naman talagang nangyari eh..nasa imagination ko lng lahat un..AHAHAHA!!!!

Sinungaling ka! may namagitan sa inyong dalawa..kaya ka nagkakaganyan dahil naging parte siya ng buhay mo..

Hindi yun totoo noh?! Wala naman talagang namagitan sa amin..napaka one sided! Haha! ikaw talaga! eh anu namang use nung "naging parte siya ng buhay ko" kung hindi naman ako naging parte ng buhay niya di ba?!

So anong feeling ng first kiss at first hug ninyong dalawa?

Hahaha!!! kulit mo talaga! Wala nga di ba?! Ang friendship namin before ay limited..not my choice, his..so sino ba naman ako para mag insist di ba?! Girlfriend ba niya ako? hindi naman..close ba kami?! hindi naman..medyo lang...

So inamin mo din na gusto mong maging Girlfriend niya para makiss at mahug mo siya?(insert ninja turtle character here)

Hindi yun ganun no?! Anu ka ba?! HINDI YUN GANUN! SINASABI KO LANG!!!

[then the class ended..finally..]

*for the complete conversation (which was deemed not suitable for the public), please get in touch with the author

*****

Kissing 101:for a friend (name omitted for obvious reasons)

1.) Don't think about it too much.
2.) Do it like they do in the movies. (works for me most)
3.) Hands should be placed in places that would prevent 2nd base.
4.) It's normal for your teeth to touch. (i guess)
5.) When doing it 'openly', tilt your head to the side. (to prevent hitting his teeth i guess. not sure. it's been a long while..haha!!!)
6.) It's not suppose to look very pretty dear.
7.) Just do it the way you feel you should.
8.) (see number one)
9.) Enjoy...(how naughty could i get?!)
10.) Never ask a girl to teach you because: 1.) they can't demonstrate it with your participation and 2.) it promotes lesbian love.

*for lessons in tongue twisters and lip nibblings consult Dr. Cosmopolitan (where i get all these things-you-do-not-really-need-to-know) or even better, try it yourself*

*****

Disclaimer: this blog was made under the influence of heavy sugar doses. the things written here do not reflect either the life, opinion and /or mind of the author. (sugar does this to nice people)

2006-09-09T11:39:00.000+08:00

i have been a very very bad girl yesterday...

*i am very sorry for not being able to update my blog yesterday..
(to those people bored or caring enough to care about what happens to my life)*

much ado about FILI:

we had this very peculiar walk-to-Rob talk yesterday...we were talking about..(clears throat)..El Filibusterismo and Daimos...(don't ask me why Daimos..)..oh! now i remember how it all started!!!..you see, during our Histo (history) class, we were talking about the different political positions during the Collonial Spanish times..one of which was "Kabesa de Barangay", and then my friend, by the name of czarina asperilla, asked us if we still remember the name of Kabesang Tales's son when he became a Guardia Civil..(which btw i really don't remember)...(see the connection?? Kabesa de barangay?? Kabesang Tales??) we were fighting whether or not it was "Carolino", (which i sincerely doubt)...then i dunno what happened but daimos suddenly came into the picture..oooh!!! i just remembered..you see, UPM's walls are peppered by the face of our dear Justice Secretary (who i btw perceive as a stupid ass and ignoramus who can't keep his mouth shut..) side by side with a picture of a villain from one of those animes...(either Daimos or Voltes Five)..well..i think that's what started the talk...anyway..when we were about to cross the street, still talking about el fili, my friend Maciolf, said something like this: "anu ba yan? di pa ba tapos yang DAIMOS na yan??"..then somebody from the back said somethng like: "EL PHILO!!!..hahaha!!! imagine the amount of laughter and noise pollution we created..(it was a nice talk after histo and before philo though..thanks for the laughs guys..i love you..though we mix things up evry now and then..)

***PAHABOL SA EL FILI***

POP QUIZ! "Ano ang dalawang pangalan ng anak na lalaki ng anak na lalaki ng matandang napipi sa El Fili?!"

******
THE ULTIMATE HR with no dream wedding:(me)

I am the HR of the group (HR= Hopeless Romantic)...i am, i guess one of the few strong believers of "love" and "being loved"..but while we were at Goldilock's, waiting for my friend's order of palabok, i was talking to two of my other friends (names omitted so as not to stain their reputation as cynical people), and to my surprise we had a talk about "Dream Weddings"..friend A wanted her wedding song to be "from this moment", while friend B who wanted a beach wedding, wanted "when i fall in love" as her wedding song...and i, who is a sucker for fairytales and happy endings, just stood there..smiling at my two friends' remarks about weddings and happy endings..and that's when i realized that i do not have one..a dream wedding that is..i do not have a dream wedding song..i do not have a dream wedding theme..not even a motif...i do not have a picture of my wedding in my mind...i really really like to get married someday..but somehow i do not have this still picture of me in my wedding dress..maybe because i do not really see myself getting married someday..(huh?!) well..i dunno..maybe i would have a picture of my dream wedding when the right one comes..and when i would know for sure...

Project Boyfriend: (tally sheet..for scores)

i have concluded that i would make a tally sheet of my candidates' makes and brakes..which is btw very corny..but would be easier to keep track of..

asymptotic pair: 0

(you seemed nice the other day..but why be like so scary yesterday..i thought you were gonna eat me..haha!!!)

forever bestfriend: 0

(i don't like your style..that's not right dearie..not right at all..)

co-superhero: 2

(thanks..)

so isn't it obvious?! my co-superhero is leading..haha!!!

2006-09-07T17:47:00.000+08:00

oh..i just died...

my first:

today i had my fair share of failures in math..i failed my second departmental exams..and it was really devastating...i know i could've done better..i know i could've passed..but i didn't..and that really sucks...both my parents said that it was OK..but it's not OK for me..oh well..this has been my trend for like forever..i pass the first test with a fairly nice score then fail the next...(proven by my chemistry grades during third year)..but i really hope history would repeat itself and that i would again pass the next two exams..(oh, i really hope so...)

a partial day:

today is a partial day for me..it is partially happy and partially sad..(partially sad?! see above)..partially happy because, it was not really a bad day...i saw my eye candy today...(who by the way also rides the LRT2..and i got to ride with him too..^_^)..i was also relieved of my craving for pancakes..(thanks tita malen!!!)...i also enjoyed my PE and COMM classes today...hmm..life in UP, yes it's VERY difficult..but i am loving it..(oooh, another partial thing today?! i had a partial wedgy for half of the day...which by the way was very annoying..)

Gratitude notes:

to my mom and dad:

thanks for being the greatest parents ever..I LOVE YOU...

to ivan/aldrich/ibs:

thank you for comforting me..i really really really love you..thanks...i will forever be thankful and grateful for your presence in UPM..thanks...you're the greatest friend/kuya/kakulitan/superhero one could ever have...thank you talaga...i really needed someone from UPM who's older than me to tell me that it's all going to be okay...thank you for that partial hug/akbay (i told you it was a day of partials)...thanks ulit...I love you...(you know you love me too..^_^)

to my kuya Edwin:

thank you for your smiling face when you told me that everything is OK...i really appreciate you being there as my kuya...although i physically but endearingly hurt you, you know i love you...(you know you love me too..) and am really thankful that i got to know you...thank you talaga...kaya natin to!

2006-09-06T00:32:00.000+08:00

oh kill me now...

hmmm..i was really suppose to go to sleep already..but somehow after my midnight shower, all the forces pushing me towards my bed weakened..so, without anything else to do...i decided to update my blog..(and search people i know in friendster and multiply...a bad habit i have i tell you..i have a victim!!! naks!! lucky day for a kill!!!)...anyway here goes:

UP's Powers were too strong..too much for a superhero to handle...

oh..i promised myself not to talk about that extraordinarily difficult departmental exams, but no!!! i can't ressit sharing my thoughts about it...you see, i always hoped that i would be able to escape..err..be exempted in..the final examinations for MATH11..(ooh..now i know why they have exclamation points together with number one in the keyboard...MATH11 = MATH!!), but alas! the powers of UP has proven once again to be too much for a lone superhero to take...it was the most difficult test i ever took..i was staring at the Problem solving part for 15 long minutes, for i did not know what to do with it..i really wanted to cry..but a superhero cannot show signs of weaknesses..(only in extreme times...like math11 classes on thursdays..)..finally, the gods and godesses of Olympus were kind enough to grant me enlightenment amidst all the X's, Y's and Z's..i do not really expect to pass that test..i am just glad that it's over..with all my energy drained, all i can hope for tonight is to sleep like a baby...

PROJECT BOYFRIEND (update):

hmmm...there are not really relevant news regarding my candidates..(though, this is for plain and simple fun)..well nothing that won't involve names that is...so i'd rather not put in anything...haha!!! though, aphrodisiacs (oooohhhh, naughty little girl...), intellectual flirting and naughty smiles are definitely involved..haha..(leaving things to your imagination once again, like nipple talks...naughty little me..)

Gratitude Notes:

To my dear savior...IVAN..i love you..(you know you love me too)..thanks for saving my ass today..we're definitely even...thanks for borrowing a calculator for me...thanks for being my kuya-of-the-day-to-the-rescue when all other options are not possible...i really really appreciate your presence in UPM..haha!!! thanks again!!! ALABSHEW!!!!

Heart Felt Apologies:

Kuya..i'm really really sorry for my super kakulitan...i hope you feel better..seratonin would be good for you really..i know..i've been there..too many times pa..anyway..i'm really really sorry..(with matching puppy dog eyes) di na po mauulit, di ko na po kayo masyado kukulitin...sorry po talaga...

Anton..sorry for calling you immature..you're not immature...you're just a little childish ~~sometimes~~ most of the time, but you're definitely not immature...it was just something that came out of my mouth..sorry ulit...

2006-09-04T17:42:00.000+08:00

this one i got from one of kuya jiro's testimonial for a girl named concon..i liked it and i thought it was really sweet..i hope someone would sing this song to me..(haha!!! in my dreams..)..well, libre mangarap...

*****

to tell you the truth i have to study tonight, because by this time tomorrow (5:44pm) i will be taking the second dpartmental exams in mathematics...i was lucky that i passed the first one..but this time I won't take any chances..i will..i repeat..I WILL STUDY PROPERLY..and i know it would be good for me to do so..(hmmm, in fact I even have an inspiration..haha!!!!)

*****

i really do not have time to post a decent blog entry..but as i was walking in Cubao..I saw this friendly reminder..(as if from God and through Divine Intervention..)..it was written in the shirt of the guy who was walking in the opposite direction..although it was not the first time i saw such a shirt, it was different this time because it was as if God was speaking to me..(ang drama..hindi kaya devil yung kausap ko at nililinlang ako???)..well, enough said, the shirt, or the print on the shirt said: "TRUE LOVE WAITS"..(indeed it does..)

2006-09-02T21:08:00.000+08:00

cleaning up my act..
(i still like him though...)

i've had it with creating and writing solely about him...(it's not healthy anymore..)..it has for the longest time ~~consumed~~ sucked out all my energy..(to the point of a very embarassing breakdown in my math11 class..) so for the sake of "me", i would try to look at the brighter things in life..(like cakes and FHM's plus nipple talks)...

A love-hate relationship:
(this used to be the greatest love affair in the whole universe btw...)

i, for most of my life, have had one of the best relationships with the greatest enemy of most students..no, i am not talking about teachers (contrary to popular belief i am not a suck up..)..i am especially talking about, (clears throat), MATH...and the never ending quest for the value of that variable X...(algebra..)..i specifically enjoyed trigonometry and geometry..(oh, now i am revealing my innate nerdy qualities to the whole of humanity...no biggie, most super heroes in fact have "nerd" written as their day job..i truly am a superhero..)..and i thought that this oh so perfect love story of me and my dearest math would never change..but alas! by virtue of the UPCAT results and my decision to drop DLSU and go to UP has changed all that...i am now faced with the perils of even failing math..(math11 to be exact..to be more specific, college algebra)...oh how i love UP! to be frank, algebra is really no biggie for anybody, you just have to find the values of either X or Y (or whatever variable may be used to represent this certain value)...but of course, that is not the case in UP (a place enveloped in complete mystery)..you see, no matter how good your professor is, and no matter how much you think you understand the lesson presented, UP always finds a way to make things so much harder for you..something beyond even the strongest of my powers..i am now stuck with a definite Love-hate relationship with mathematics..(thanks to UP!!!)..i still love it..i love it so much..but somehow, after all these years, nagsawa na siya sa akin and now math hates me..(poor me!!!)..my superpowers are truly no match for UP-Manila's Math11..it is my kryptonite...what is the value of Kryptonite that UP have for us superheroes dwelling within its walls, you may ask?! well after much contemplation and mathematical computations i have finally concluded that it is simply the limit of (1+1)/deltaX as deltaX approaches 0 ..(note that i can't use the greek symbol delta..)

*****(oooooooh!!! my * are back!)

trying to fight the urge:
i have (for the longest time possible) been trying to convince myself to go on a diet and stick to it..and now after much contemplation..i vow (note that i now vow..and not just promise..) to go on a diet and stick to it..no matter how hard it would be for me...and the funny thing is, i am writing all of these after i was presented with a pack of my lola's famous polvoron (which i am definitely going to consume) and as i am eating a piece of Chocolate Crunchies..(yum yum!!!)

******

my date:
i had a date with my kuya last night..(one that was very much unexpected and definitely not planned as we were in our pambahays)..well, i had a great time though, (sure beats studying)..anyway, we talked about the condition in which the Philippines is in right now..and it was kinda surprising to note that as much as we would like to help out, and in so much as we would like to change things are and create a better Philippines for all of us, we have agreed to a consensus that we just can't do that..(no matter how much super powers we have..) and thus we have finally concluded that the best way to help the system (by that i mean not only the government but the totality of the country) is to do our own part..i mean, let us do what we have to do, let us not mind what others are doing..let us do things we have to the best of our ability as best as we can...it's not always about rallying in the streets, shouting protests and asking for reform in the system, let us do our part..~~create~~ start a revolution of change...maybe then we can have a better Philippines..oh well, it's just a thought...

*****

PROJECT BOYFRIEND:

hmm..by the power of suggestion, (by a certain czarina asperilla)..this is the start of a blog-series (see above for title)..it will be about my quest of finding the one to offer my heart and soul to (yuck! ang mushy!!!)...although, by the end of this blog-series (if it would ever end) it is not necessary that i would have a boyfriend..(i just want to know if my ideal guy exists..)anyway, as this is the first ever episode, i would like to present all the candidates..

my asymptotic pair:
a guy with which i have a certain connection with..(although i'm quite not sure what that connection maybe) i have forever been drawn into him...nevertheless, i am still in total cluelessness on whether or not he sees me as i see him..

my forever bestfriend:
this guy i never knew i would be close to..but in a funny twist of fate, i got to know him..and surprisingly i was moved by him..it only took a brief moment for him to touch my life (yuck!! mushy moment once again)...although i am quite uncertain by how he feels for me...although i see a glitter in his eyes when we are together..every now and then...

my co-superhero:
this one i knew for the longest time among all of the candidates...he is the crushing type really...a cutie so to speak...although i never really had anytime to bond with him, i am certain that we have a connection...although i am still not sure on whether he is the kind of guy i would want to be with...

these are the candidates for now..(although still subject to approval by the board..)...stay tuned next time for developments on this project...*singing* this is the start of something new *singing*..hihi... ^_^

2006-09-01T17:57:00.000+08:00

just letting my hands type...
(without thinking of anything..)

today, i really do not know what to blog about...but by virtue of my super bionic senses, i feel this very very strong pushing force telling me to update my blog for the sake of the people who take time to read it..(my super bionic senses tell me that they are few though..)

hmmm..my very own skirt day:
(i had nothing else to wear okei?!)

today i had to wear a skirt (see above), i was very very uncomfortable wearing it though, i always wanted to sit as comfortably as possible at all times aka slouch, but unfortunately i do not have the luxury of clean jeans for that today...so long story short i wore a very lengthy formal skirt to school...(i still wasn't able to refrain from slouching though)..at first i thought it would be a great way to get someone notice me (notice how i don't specify who..) after all, what better way than to wear something nice right?!..well by the time i was at the LRT station, i was comletely overcome by regret..(regret..regret i tell you!!!)..for what better day for the LRT to breakdown on me than the day i was in a skirt?! i stood there waiting for a train that i thought would never come..my stand-by time lasted for 45 very looooooong minutes...then finally, i was able to get in a train..(a train with no air conditioning btw..)..and for the record, i did not intend to ride that train (see previous note: () ) i was just, by the powers of those around me (which btw was way too strong for my own powers; collective kasi eh..not fair..) pushed into that train...(note: the ones who pushed me were girls! girls! girls i tell you!!)...i arrived in my first class 40 minutes late..(argh!!! damn that LRT..)...i really desperately wanted to run on the streets of both taft and faura, but alas! my lengthy, formal skirt would not allow me...oh, what a great day to wear my skirt..

(gratitude note-to-self: you're still lucky kat, i would have been worse had it rained..)

oh people see me once again:

it's really funny how people would ignore me for the longest time possible then one day wake up and say "oh, why don't i acknowledge katrina's presence today?!"..why don't you?! hmmm?!..i know it sounds silly but there are just days when people do not seem to see me..not just one person, a lot of persons...well of course i do not by virtue of my super powers go invisible or something (that power i do not have, and would not choose to use had i did..) i just am very unnoticeable..uhm, very easy to ignore..and that is something new..because, before (by which i mean in my alma mater) people notice me very often...and now, i seem to disappear from the crowd every now and then...it's not that i resent the fact that people do not notice me, it is also quite good..being able to blend in with the crowd and all..it just goes to show that..i am just normal, average..nothing really special..which is also good for my super hero career..(no super hero would reveal his or her true identity..)

2006-08-31T20:44:00.001+08:00

hmm..making up for lost time...(hehe)...

hmmm...i was not able to update my blog yesteday..(don't ask why, issues will be spawned once more...)..anyway...being the great person that i am (nyah right!) i wrote down the things i was suppose to blog about na lng..although i am now having trouble deciding on whether to continue on and post my first entry..which is actually..something private..oh well, no names naman eh..:)

The Infamous (drumroll please..) NIPPLE TALK!!!! (sequel: yellow balls):
(note: nothing sexual friends..just plain clean fun..^_^)

well, being the lucky girl that i am, and having been spawned to a family that is..ehem..so to say, always "happy" (happy that is masking the truth of insanity [in a good way that is]..), i am ehem, fortunate, enough to witness some of the proofs of man's social evolution..this time in the guise of a very interesting "nipple talk"..ahahaha!! (which btw i think i started..ahahaha!!!) and would i forget to mention the existence of "yellow balls" (oh i love my mommy.^_^)..yellow balls..yellow balls...anyway..i have finally concluded, after much side-aching, jaw-numbing laughter, that there are things that are better left unsaid..keeping the public in guessing of what such talk contributed to the enlightenment of man..go beyond the nipple my dear friends..that i would suggest...i assure you it was not and does not involve anything sexual...and i repeat..GO BEYOND THE NIPPLE!!! and the yellow balls... ahahaha!!!

(leaving things to your imagination..ahahaha!!! naughty me....)

my nth 50 first date:

hmm..i have to say that this movie is one of the sweetest ever made...(sweet but not cheesy (wait, cheese is not suppose to be sweet, it's suppose to be salty..), a great love story but not exclusively a chick-flick..[it's an adam sandler movie!!!]...)anyway, it was about (gahd knows what time) evening..(evening?!)..when my dear friend danielle sprouted out of nowhere telling me that 50 first dates (once again may i say..)was on HBO..at first, it was kind of a hohum for me..(i've watched that movie too many times..haha!!!) but then again, it was as if it was calling me..(i hear calls from everywhere you know..it's one of my superpowers...super ultra bionic ears..)..anyway, i was not able to finish the movie (for the first time my dear friends, due to an untimely dinner call, which actually had good timing for i was geting a bit hungry..huh?!) but the whole movie was stuck playing in my mind..(it was kinda wierd though i admit, having scenes flashing before your conscious unconscious mind...) adn after dinner, the movie (in my mind that is..) aso came to an end, with drew barrymore and adam sandler out in sea 9with kids might i add)...well, you know me, i realize things on the most ulikely times...and true enough i had an epiphany (brought about by my heavy dinner and light mind-movie)..anyway here it goes, (as i say it to myself): "that's the kind of guy i want..someone who would everyday be patient enough to shoot me a video telling me of what happened the day before with so much faith that i would remember him and everything else, despite memory lapse..i know i don't have any disorder hindering me from remembering things..but wouldn't it be great to have someone who you know would do even the craziest things for him to be with you?! i mean..isn't that sweet?!..i want to have that..but then again..i realized that it was another one of my fantasies, and the odds of that happening in real life (to me in this case) is one in a billion.i told you,,i don't really get the guy i ~~desperately~~ want...oh well, i guess i just need to wait..and wait and wait..(oh! when would you show yourself ba?! i'm tired of hide and seek...show yourself before it's too late..)

Sleeping and waking up once more:
(a refutation of my previous blog entry entitled a farewell note [for you])

i slept for twelve hours yesterday..it was my way coping with all the stress i've had to endure after a weekend of fun..(a welcome party for me and my friends to the real world..)..it was kinda funny that when i woke up, my first thought of the day was him..(it was him! oh why should it be him?! why?!)..as i promised myself the day before that it was his last day governing my whole existence, i brushed him off (well his thought that is) and went downstairs for, ehem, lunch..(it was already 12 noon, and my kuya just came home from school..)..i was really bothered by his persistent existence in my mind..he was there, when i had my first bite, when had my first drink, when i was looking through the paper..he was there..i always thought of what he may be doing at the same time..whether he had eaten lunch already or if had to go to school that day..anyway, in short, he never ceased to exist in my mind..and it was really bothering me..(how could he have survived all those crying and sulking?! [which lasted for about ten minutes])..it was unfair..i've had endured too much already and i deserved a release..but much to my dismay, and the dismay of many others...i just cannot forget about him..i surrender to the fact that i will never be able to escape him..and everything else..i have lost the battle of falling out...i was not successful this time..but it doesn't matter anymore..maybe i should just go with it, maybe i shouldn't suppress my feelings..maybe i should not contain them...maybe then this will all pass..maybe then i would be freed from this prison..but what if all these maybe's end up with me falling even more deeply? should i still risk "me getting hurt" once more?! i dunno..but if i don't risk this, will i regret it?! i do not want to have any regrets, for i do not want to live in the what if's of life..maybe this is just the way things are meant to be..some are meant to hurt, while others are meant to be happy..(maybe i belong to the sad group of people who are meant to hurt...well, maybe not..my other half wouldjust have to find me..[tell you the story of halves next time..])

2006-08-29T20:42:00.000+08:00

NOT KNOWING WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT....

skin change..(for miggy):
well, my friend miggy said that my blog image was too emo..i wouldn't want to look emo?! ako pa!!! anu ba un?! ako emo?! hindi ah..so now i changed my blog image...i got this one pala from my kuya jiro's deviantArt...(if you want to check him out..i have him on my credits list)..thanks kuya jirs!!! Alabshew!!! :-*

*****

Late:
i have this chronic illness of having insomia during the most unlikely times...and true enough, this sickness of mine struck again! and what better time than last night...i couldn't sleep, and sleep was very important because i haven't had a good night's rest for four straight days already and the worst part is (drumroll please..) we had a test the next day!!!!(CHEMISTRY PA!!!)..it's not like hindi ako nakatulog or something, pero my gahd!!! 7:30 na ako nagicing!!!! bwiset..and xempre ung chem test namin eh 8:30 db?! at ang travel time from QC to Faura ay mga 1 hour...hay!!! mad dash talga ako kanina..although i made it..nangamote naman ako sa test..(did i mention na hindi ako naka aral?!)..well, magdadasal na lng ako..

*****

not over him:
it's kinda funny,but i guess i'm not yet over him..no matter how much i say i am and that everything's in the past already...the funnier part of it is that, there's nothing to get over..i mean, nothing really happened..we never really had anything..(i really believe it was all in my mind)..the whole thing is so complicated..and i really do not what to do..i have had so much of everything already..i do not want anything to do with him anymore to tell you the truth..(bakit nga ba ganun?! ewan ko ba..)..i know that there will be disappointments from all corners of the world but i have had it and i am now ready to forget everything...i know that i can never escape him...yes, he will always be there, but i've just had it..i know that it's a longshot, but i will try to forget about everything na lng..i feel so stupid writing about this and writing about him..(well, it proves that i do not get every guy i like to those who think that way..)...maybe i'm just tired that's why i think about silly hings..(maybe it's all because of my playlist..)...it's just hurtful that there's nothing to look forward to with him..not even friendship..and it all happened in a flash...without warning..maybe if i was prepared for it i wouldn't be tearing up now..i'm just hurt..this will pass..i know it will..i just have to get everything out...(why do you have to be so cruel?! anu ba ginawa ko sa yo huh?!)

*****

Gratitude Notes:
amidst all the disasters in my life (whether imaginary or real), i am fortunate enough to have friends who would stick with all my moods...for danielle who, since forever, kept me in touch with reality..for miggy, who would make me see how silly i am, thus makingme stop na..for minnie for being there lagi...for nissan and bea..my LRT buddies..thanks for listening to my silly stories...big thanks guys... ^_^..alabshew!!!

i am especially thankful for two guys who made me realize so much in so little time...my dear kuya, thanks for making me see things that i refused to realize..kahit na niloloko mo ako lagi at madalas napipikon ako sayo..salamat pa din... ^_^..kay guy sebastian..(lol)..thanks for giving me back my focus (although i dunno how..)on things and taking my mind off he who must not be named...thank you for showing me the beauty in guinea pigs..(long story, metaphor yan..)...you two will forever be my kuyas in UPM...big thanks..alabshew!!

*****

farewell note (for you):
this will be your last day in my whole existence..and i quote from the notebook: "i'm not bitter anymore because i know that what we had was real.."..eventhough i am not quite sure what we really had..from this day on, my existence will not revolve around you anymore..you have been a short and bittersweet chapter of my life..and now that i have finished pouring my heart out..i am ready to let you go and give you up..(were we even really friends?!)...although, you will never stop existing in a certain, hidden part of me,i know that we will be both happier after this..(especially me..)..and i know that this will all be for the better...goodbye to you..(i hope you're hapy now..)

2006-08-28T21:31:00.000+08:00

Finally on the right timeline...

After one of the best weekends of my life!!!:
i had the best weekend of my life with my blockmates (and laterals)!! (well, cross out sleeping in a resettlement area-ish place disguised as a "resort")..we had fun from the start to the end..(although, i still am sad about not being able to swim..)..anyway, i love how our block stuck together through the whole thing..(hehe..an drama?!)..I LOVE BLOCK 17!!!! GO SP!!! SPE-ECH Pathology!!!!

*****

The MidNight talk (with czar and danielle):
well, the first night, which we spent in the bus, was a time of realization for me..i had finally woken up to the reality that my fantasies about me and this certain "stranger" is never gonna happen..i've risked falling in love with him, but now i have come to this painstaking stage of falling out of love..(which is kinda strange, too little a time of loving him..would that be my mistake now?! that's the risk i take of falling out of love..)..i know it's too hasty for me to conclude things like these, but who can blame me?! i'm getting hurt already, almost every time he's there i get hurt..so with the advice of my two very lovely friends (which i chose to take, btw), i have finally resolved to stop this garbage about him...i hope this would not be as hard as my summer love affair goodbye..i just hope he would look at me again..

*****

passing notes in class..tsk tsk tsk...:
i spent math class passing notes with my dearest kuya..and boy was he irritating..grabe ah!!! he kept on insisting on things which did not really happen or exist..i mean, puhlease kuya...wag ganun okei?! i know you have these fantasies of him and me being what you think we are..but no kuya..wake up okei?! fantasies mo lng un..(ako nga nagicing na eh..)

*****

what hurts the most?!:
i dunno..maybe the fact that we were so close, we had so much to say, then we just watched each other walk away..(wow!!!! kanta un di ba?! kanta...ahahaha!!!! oo nga..kanta xa..)..anyway,
kahit kanta pa yan...that's what hurts the most...yan un..yan...ahahahaha!!!! (oh well...)

*****

5 Great Discoveries (of last week, the weekend and day):
#5: I CAN SING!!!!! (grabe na ito..ahahaha!!!)

#4: My period has very bad timing..(my gahd!!! nung sabado pa!!!)

#3: I am very easy to neglect..(nobody seems to see me..huhuhu..)

#2: JULIUS CAN SING!!! (hahaha!!! i had a great time listening to you sing in gbox..haha!!! next time ulit..^_^)

#1: I am a natural born actress!!! hahaha!!! (impromtu monologue huh?! kamusta naman un?! "my son this is how you herd, this is how you hunt.." ahahaha!!!)

*****

sign out time: 10:15 Pm
things to do: Study for a quiz...(my gahd..inuna pa ang blog!!!)
state: banggag pa rin..

^_^

2006-08-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

(Aug. 20, 2006; 9:29 AM...)

I hate how coffee turns into an addiction
and how it keeps you up all night.
How it burns and makes your heart
beat fast.

Especially how it makes you crave
for its rich and sweet promises
of grains, milk and sugar.

Moments later, it puts you
into a melancholic mood
of coldness.

Before you realize it,
it has consumed you before
you should have consumed it.

Empty.
Hollow.
Bitter.

Then again,
you crave for another cup.

a text message i got from czar's blog..
(wow, i get txt messages from blogs.ahahaha!)

is this really coffee?! if it is, the same goes with love...
that's how i feel right now, like i have had too much of it and i'm left empty...
but now i'm asking and craving for more...

WANTED: APPLY HERE
~~PERFECT BOYFRIEND~~
mr. right for me...

i have simple criteria...

chinky eyes..
close up smile..
non-empty brain (i've had it with stupid guys..)...
spongy or curly hair..(i don't like the flimpy hair type..)
nice voice..(you have to know how to sing..)
can play either the guitar, piano, saxophone or violin...
would know my REAL worth...
and lastly
one who make me look at my criteria and throw it in the trash...

It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person
to love while at the back of our minds we know that
the person we truly love will always be an exception.

(from a text i got from someone i don't remember)

i don't know what to do...i need someone who would hold me in his arms and say that he loves me no matter what..one who would look into my eyes and see my soul..one who would let me see his soul..one who would sing me songs of love with his simple whispers..one who would turn looks into smiles and smiles into laughter..one whom i would not posses, and one who would not want to posses me..instead, one with whom i would share a mutual surrender...he does not have to be my fantasy, for i have learned that fantasies are for dreams,and that we live in harsh reality...i just need someone...someone i would love and love me back..unconditionally..

2006-08-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

(Aug 20, 2006; 8:48AM)

I'm not quite sure whether this is my first blog entry since after my recovery..(wow huh?! parang ganun kalala ang sakit ko..)...but, oh well, (as miggy would say)..here it goes...

WHEN THE QUEEN ALIEN ATTACKS!!!:
i call "HER" an alien for very very important reasons..(one is that she does not really live here, and that she's sitting right across me, waiting for me to finish so that she could use OUR laptop..oh well, i'll let her wait..)..well it's been quite a silent weekend for all of us..my cousin keeps to his room all day, tinkering with THEIR laptop...playing, studying..basta nasa loob lng siya ng room niya, ok na siya..and i don't blame him..i would love to do the same but such action would imply so many things..(i'm not normally that way..)..well, i know it's mean to think na this would be a very very long and tiring week just because she's here, pero, we'll see..she seems more quiet now..(she can't come through to us..we're too complex for her feeble brain that could only process "HER" stuff, leaving no space for understanding and reason)...well, i hope she enjoys her stay this time though..(believe it or not, she thinks our home is unwelcoming..PUHLEASE!!!!)..anyway, she has ginny, the dog, to talk to any time...she'll be fine..

HISTO WEEKEND:
well, we have this test in History 1 on tuesday, that would span form about the creation of the land forms of the Philippines to the Pre-colonial times..(how long is that?! hmm..a few million years..) (she left!!!! ahahaha!!! guess she can't wait..)...hmm, anyway, this test involves writing down answers in alibata (the ancient pre-colonial alphabet of the Philippines), and although i'm okei with it and it doesn't really take that much effort to learn, it's still freaking me out!!!! it is like 30% of my final grade, and of course, histo?! i can't flunk that subject...there would be no excuse for flunking that subject...although i don't really need it in my course..ahahaha!!

THE LOSING BATTLE:
before, i have resolved myself to go on diet..but no, i haven't kept my promise..hahaha!!! well, it's ok..i can start tomorrow (i got sick remember?!)..but if we have more dinners like tonight, (we had buffalo wings, nachos, pot roast and mashed potato) i would definitely lose the battle...hmmm...oh well, we'll see...

MIXED UP SONGS:
i have the cutest cousin ever...he's not a toddler (he's a little older than me for that matter..) but he is just so cute!!!! ahahaha!!!! i love it when he sings...i just love it..hahaha..here are some of his mixed up tunes and lyrics...(sorry, no name naman eh..):

michael buble's For once in my life:
For once in my life,
I won't let ZORRO hurt me...
(huh?! ZORRO?? okei..ahahahaha!!!! )

little orphan annie's tomorrow:
we can still eat, tomorrow
tomorrow. i love you,
tomorrow and the day before..
(AHAHAHAHA!!!!! bagong version!!!!
and the day before?! you're always a day away..
ahahahahahahaha!!!)

THOUGHTS OF HIM(a losing battle part 2):
the thought of him is still here..here in my mind..i still think about his smile (oh the smile that launched a thousand ships...), his very amusing laugh (oh that laugh, that laugh..), the jester-ing look in his eyes (oh, how i love that spark of mischief..)..and now i have finally realized that trying not to love him is also a losing battle...my friend danielle asks of why i risk these much for such (as she thinks) an unworthy person..(he's not unworthy, i'm unworthy..)..and i give the same answer to you all, because i don't find any reason not to..and i know that if i don't risk this, the regret would haunt me for life...i'm not expecting to get what i want after all these, cause as i said to my friend danielle, it's not always about getting what you want but rather doing something you really ~~want~~ love to do without thinking of what you may get from it...(am i saying that i already love him?!..~~err, yes?!~~ i don't know)...(but i am definitely amused by his presence in my life..)

LSS: What Hurts the Most (wla lng..)
Food for the heart:

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot,
A world forgetting, of a world forgot.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,
Each Pray'r accepted and Each wish resign'd.

(obviuosly from the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

2006-08-28T21:12:00.000+08:00

(Aug 13, 2006; 9:58 AM)

DAMN THAT COLD VIRUS!!!!:
for the first time in like 4 years, dalawang beses ako nagka sipon(it has always been once a year lng)..BWISET!!! i hate being sick..lalo na kapag sipon lng na wala namang gamot tlga..argh!!! bkit ba kasi hindi pa ako maging immune noh?! sa tinaon taon ko ng nagkakasipon hindi pa ba ako nakakadevelop ng immunity against it?! argh!!! bwiset!!!!

****

PARTIAL CLOWN?!:
my friend czarina says the silliest things..(sorry czar, but this is the truth)..today while we were chatting along, she mentioned that she was suprisingly, depressed..(huh?! si czar dapressed?? weh?!),,and frankly, it was kind of a shock for me..and of course, true to my "role" a friend, i was (obliged?!) to comfort her..(czar!!! guess who's online?! hmm..weeeeee..)..hmm..well. long story short, her "stalker" (madhatter?!) went OL (finally?!)..and her depression was slowly eradicated..(i told you czar, amusement and love are two very different things, that is not amusement, that is love, no matter how much you deny it..)..it was then that, ehem czar uttered (di ba chat lng?! pano niya sinabi?!) these words: "salamat for keeping me partially happy while jed's not around, he makes me partially happy too" (oh, eh di ngaung kaming dalawa na ung OL completely happy ka na?!) and it was then that i realized my purpose and meaning in life...I WAS BORN TO BE A PARTIAL CLOWN!!! how delightful..thanks czar..(sarcastic?! nah, i love you czar..)

****

GUILTY PLEASURES:
if you're an avid reader of my blog, (well, i guess you're not, i don't get a lot of comments..ahahaha!!!), you would know that i am currently struggling to stay true to my "diet"..but how could i?! how?! tonight, for dinner..we had..ehem, pizza and mojos..(i guess you know what pizza house we ordered from)..to add to this for desert i had, ehem, an eclair (that would't fit in my mouth by the way..) and napoleonesse (tama ba spelling ko?! hindi ata..ahahaha..anyway, i'm naturally poor in spelling anyway..)..and my gahd, was it good..but after dinner, i really felt guilty..how would i lose weight? argh!!! i need help..ahahaha!!!! (i can do this..i can do this..)

****

FUNNY MOMENTS:
when kuya talks cat:
okei, for the sake of specificity, (because i call almost everybody kuya..), let's call him "the guinea pig man"..(sorry kuya, sorry tlga...i don't want to put in names eh...cute naman eh, parang super hero.."the guinea pig man"..)..when i went OL, i was at the bathroom (i really had to pee), but i heard that somebody "buzzed"..well anyway, when i finally finished "peeing", i found out that it was, ehem, the guinea pig man(?!)..and his greeting was, "meow!~" (it made me smile though, it really did..)..well i replied..but somehow, the guinea pig man who talks cat, was nowhere to be found?! (suplado ka tlga kuya...S-U-P-L-A-D-O..ahahahha!!)..anyway, lagot ka sa akin sa tuesday..ahahaha!!!!

czarina's 9 quesitons:
when a guy, who is flirting with you intellectually, as czarina would rationalize (it's still flirting for me though), would ask you what song you dedicate to him...hmm..a girl would usually answer a title of a song that is so mushy one would probabaly throw up, but of course, the guy would be touched..but no, not czar..ask her that question and what would she answer?! (drumroll please!!!) STARS ARE BLIND!!!!(eventhough the gods are crazy, evethough the stars are blind, if you show me real love baby. i'll show you ma-aayn..)ahahahaha!!!!! KUDOS TO YOU CZARINA ASPERILLA!!!!

****

BACK TO MY CHILDHOOD DAYS:
well my current LSS's bring me back to my childhood..they are from one of the classic disney movies...which one you might ask?! (drumroll please..) ANASTACIA!!!!!!!

2006-08-28T21:04:00.000+08:00

(Aug 12, 2006; 10:29 AM???)

NAKAPAGCHARGE DIN SA WAKAS!!!! :
well, after two straight days of sleep deprivation i have had my good night's sleep..i slept for more than 15 hours!!! (straight ung 13 hours, from 12mn until 1 pm then from 2pm to 7pm)...at ito ay dahil sa akin ka ewan ewan na pagkakasakit..(bwiset!!!! ubo na naman?! once a year lng schedule ng ubo ko..well, may kasama namang lagnat..ahahaha..)..ayoko ng mga ganitong sakit..argh!!! damn that stupid cough virus...(nanisi ba naman?!)

****

HAHAHAHA!!!! (wala ng mailagay..):
wla lng..
wla na ako mailagay eh..well, now i'm listening to kaskade's sweet love..(o di ba?!..house na ulit ang playlist ko..)yan, it's you it's me na..ahahahaha!!!! (i'm in a confe nga pla with czar and cha)and, grabe, hanggang confe ba naman siya pa rin ung topic..(like what i said cha, hindi ako comfortable pag ganun..)..anyway..since hindi na kayo nagrereply (cha and czar)..at since OL na si miggy, kami n lng maguusap..

****

THE DIET STARTS!!!!:
i therefore resolve (with my friend miggy) to start and stay true to my diet..(ARGH!!!! ang taba taba ko na!!! tama na..kata, apple pies, and double chocolate oat cookies are poison for you ...)..kaya ko to!!! nagawa ko na ito dati..(kata, pag may baon ka, ipakain mo na lng sa mga blockmates mo at mga laterals..please lng...they'll enjoy it more than you..ahahaha!!!)

****

ILOCOS HERE I COME!!!!:
after much pleading and begging, ehem, (pinanganak na artista tlga ako..ahahaha)..napayagan din po akong sumama sa Ilocos Field trip namin ni Mom..ahahaha!!!! thanks mom!!! i love you!!!! mwah!!!! :-*..
(well bago nun, i have to go on a trip to a hospital na hindi ko pa tlga alam kung alin..ahahaha..bkit?! duh?! may dadalawin..nu nga kuya?!^_^)

****

LSS ONCE MORE:
yesterday, i had a different LSS, it was It's Gonna Be love by mandy moore i guess, pero today, it's back to my last LSS before that...which is..(drumroll please..)..HANGING BY A MOMENT by LIFEHOUSE!!!!(now playing..)..ahahaha..(changed my playlist again..i can't get enough of these songs..)..ahahahaha!

2006-08-28T20:59:00.000+08:00

(Aug 11, 2006; 12:08 )

I SURVIVED!!!:
well, after the very much feared departmental exams, i was very unsure whether i was gonna pass or fail..(if you read my blog, you might know na i was blogging the night before instead of studying)..and thank GOD!!! i was able to pass the test..hahaha..KUDOS to me!!! hahaha...(i still can't believe that i passed!!!)..

****

THE THREE LEGGED RACE (that turned into a five legged one):
hmm, sa PE class namin, xempre, dahil phil.games xa eh..hmm..naglalaro kami every session..ahahaha!!!!! and this week's relay game, was, ehem..masakit..ahahaha!!! at dahil,ehem, mabigat at mejo lampahin ang partner ko sa umpisa hanggang sa huli, eh, ehem, ito na po..may PASA na po ako..at sa totoo lng masakit xa..at higit sa lahat pangit xa tignan..huhuhu!!! well, six months lang yan kata, okei lng yan..(yeah right?!)...

****

TUESDAY THEME DAYS:
hmm...this is quite amusing..ahahaha!!! kasi naman, nagsimula sa skirt day ni yssa, (not that it's bad, it's actually kinda cute..)..noong tuesday (aug. 8, 2006) this week kasi, it was skirt day for girls and pink shirt and shorts day for boy's sa block 17!!! ehehehe..hmm, kahit na hindi lahat ay nag skirt..(mga pasaway na babae!!!)...kaya aun, as agreed upon, tuesday, aug. 15, 2006, will be stripes day at ehem...ito ang pinaka asteeeg!!!! ang tuesday after that which is aug. 22, 2006, ay..(drumroll please..)..HIGH SCHOOL UNIFORM DAY!!!!..at take note...dapat complete to..ahaha!!!seryoso kaya kami dito?? hmm..ahu??? watcha think?! ahahaha!!! bahala na..hehehe..

****

PAIRED to PERFECTION?
(warning: if haven't been updated with the recent happenings in YM, do not read..hindi niyo makikilala kung sino ung "siya" dito..)
duh?! di ko naman alam na magrered din xa ah..nagulat nga ako nung soc sci time..kasi naman eh..nakapula ba naman xa?! hmp!!! tama ba naman un?! tsk tsk..bkit ganun??? tadhana??? no please no!!!! wag naman ganun, misfortune na yun..ahahaha!!!! at take note, hindi lng xa ang naka pula..(anton kasi eh, wag ganun, like third time na to, nakakatawa na, kami na lng ni, ehem, ahahaha!!!!...)..-putol?! may binura ako!!! ahahaha!!!!-(bkit ganun nu?!, wag ka namang ganun...expression lng un..wag kang padala, i say that to everybody..okei?!)

****

INVISIBILITY CLOAK: (hay naku, dumali na naman si kata!!!! wla ka na sa HS gaga!!!)
I've got my invisibility cloak in your eyes, you don't see me, you don't know i exist..maybe that's how it's gonna be..okei..i don't mind..fine with me..

****

TIME CHECK:(still same playlist..)

11:36 PM - our home is quiet again..i can hear myself breathe...
- If I'm not in Love with You (now playing..again..)
11:39 PM - you and me (now playing..again..)
11:42 PM - hanging by a mmoment (now playing..my last LSS..)
- chatting with miggy..kami lng OL..
11:46 PM - it's gonna be love (now playing...again..i told you..same playlist..)
ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT : not thinking about him anymore..(thank GOD!!!)

(note to self: keep up the good work!!!! you're doing great.. ^_^)

(reply to self: I KNOW RIGHT!!!!! yes, i will keep it up!!! i CAN do this!!!!)

LSS: it's gonna be love, mandy moore

(*singing*
it's gonna be love, it's gonna be great,
it's gonna be more than i can take,
it's gonna be free it's gonna be real,
it's gonna change everything i feel,
it's gonna be sad, it's gonna be true,
it's gonna be me baby, it's gonna be you baby,
it's gonna be love...
*humming*)

2006-08-28T18:28:00.000+08:00

haha..i' m posting here all my past blogs...from my friendster and multiply accounts, para naman masaya di ba?! ahahaha!!! tinatamad pa akong mag post ng iba eh..i'll put dates na lng.. :)

(posted Aug.08,2006 11:18pm)

FLAVOR OF THE MONTH:
hmmm..much to the delight of my friend pauleen (i guess)...i have finally concluded that i cannot win this war (war ba naman ang itawag?!)..kaya, from this day on, i will, to the best of my abilities, play along..and i hope that would stop them from teasing me..hahaha!!! (mag sawa naman kayo!!!)

*****

LOVE?! (na naman?!) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!:
hmm..i have a sudden case of "falling in love" with no reference point..hahaha!!!! maybe, i'm just falling in love with love..ahahaha!!! well, maybe i am...bacause after a whole week of house music, i have finally changed my playlist..(grabe!!! i still love house pero bakit ganito???? i love house pero bkit ganito???)..i have super senti songs now (remember me this way, if i'm not in love with you, etc.), with majority of them from the OST of A Walk to Remember..gosh!!!!( kata!!! katrina!!!! chi!!!! anu nang nagyayari sa'yo?! hindi ito maaari!!!! hindi!!!! no...please no!!!! don't!!!!! he's not the right one!!!!)

*****

LACK OF CREATIVITY KILLED THE BLOCK:
BE CREATIVE NAMAN!!!! I WAS A STUDENT LEADER DIN NAMAN ONCE NO?! CAN"T YOU BE MORE CREATIVE THAN THAT?! YOU'RE SO MINISTERIAL!!!!!

*****

MY ABSENT SUPPORTIVE KUYA:
kuya naman..hmmm...(no name?! wag na..haha)..i was willing naman tlga to donate blood pero i was really scared (first time ko ba naman?!)..hmm..sabi mo sasamahan mo ako..ikaw tlga..ikaw pa nga ung may ganang magtampo kung hindi ako mag-donate tapos ikaw ung wala...ahahaha!!!! di kita papansinin sa math11(nagtampo ba naman daw oh?!)..ahahaha!!!!!

******

TIME CHECK:
10:29 AM - haven't done anything school related since i woke up..ahaha!!!(and there's so much to do!)
10:31 AM - remember me this way (now playing...)
10:34 AM - if i'm not in love with you (now playing...)
10:37 AM - you and me (now playing...)
10:45 AM - it's gonna be love (now playing...)
ALL DAY ALL NIGHT: thinking about him again!!!! argh!!! i have to get him out of my system...

(note to self: stop thinking about him!!!! wala kang makukuha jan!!!! go back to house!!!!house music rocks!!!! dance to it...)

(**reply to self: i can't stop thinking about him!!!! yes i know, house is great..pero...i love these songs..tamang tama sa mood ko..BWISET!!! i need to see a doctor..ahahaha!!!!)

LSS: hanging by a moment, lifehouse

(*singing*
i'm falling even more in love with you,
letting go of all i've held on to,
i'm standing here until you make me move,
i'm hanging by a moment here with you...
*humming*)