NOT KNOWING WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT....

skin change..(for miggy):
well, my friend miggy said that my blog image was too emo..i wouldn't want to look emo?! ako pa!!! anu ba un?! ako emo?! hindi ah..so now i changed my blog image...i got this one pala from my kuya jiro's deviantArt...(if you want to check him out..i have him on my credits list)..thanks kuya jirs!!! Alabshew!!! :-*

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Late:
i have this chronic illness of having insomia during the most unlikely times...and true enough, this sickness of mine struck again! and what better time than last night...i couldn't sleep, and sleep was very important because i haven't had a good night's rest for four straight days already and the worst part is (drumroll please..) we had a test the next day!!!!(CHEMISTRY PA!!!)..it's not like hindi ako nakatulog or something, pero my gahd!!! 7:30 na ako nagicing!!!! bwiset..and xempre ung chem test namin eh 8:30 db?! at ang travel time from QC to Faura ay mga 1 hour...hay!!! mad dash talga ako kanina..although i made it..nangamote naman ako sa test..(did i mention na hindi ako naka aral?!)..well, magdadasal na lng ako..

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not over him:
it's kinda funny,but i guess i'm not yet over him..no matter how much i say i am and that everything's in the past already...the funnier part of it is that, there's nothing to get over..i mean, nothing really happened..we never really had anything..(i really believe it was all in my mind)..the whole thing is so complicated..and i really do not what to do..i have had so much of everything already..i do not want anything to do with him anymore to tell you the truth..(bakit nga ba ganun?! ewan ko ba..)..i know that there will be disappointments from all corners of the world but i have had it and i am now ready to forget everything...i know that i can never escape him...yes, he will always be there, but i've just had it..i know that it's a longshot, but i will try to forget about everything na lng..i feel so stupid writing about this and writing about him..(well, it proves that i do not get every guy i like to those who think that way..)...maybe i'm just tired that's why i think about silly hings..(maybe it's all because of my playlist..)...it's just hurtful that there's nothing to look forward to with him..not even friendship..and it all happened in a flash...without warning..maybe if i was prepared for it i wouldn't be tearing up now..i'm just hurt..this will pass..i know it will..i just have to get everything out...(why do you have to be so cruel?! anu ba ginawa ko sa yo huh?!)

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Gratitude Notes:
amidst all the disasters in my life (whether imaginary or real), i am fortunate enough to have friends who would stick with all my moods...for danielle who, since forever, kept me in touch with reality..for miggy, who would make me see how silly i am, thus makingme stop na..for minnie for being there lagi...for nissan and bea..my LRT buddies..thanks for listening to my silly stories...big thanks guys... ^_^..alabshew!!!

i am especially thankful for two guys who made me realize so much in so little time...my dear kuya, thanks for making me see things that i refused to realize..kahit na niloloko mo ako lagi at madalas napipikon ako sayo..salamat pa din... ^_^..kay guy sebastian..(lol)..thanks for giving me back my focus (although i dunno how..)on things and taking my mind off he who must not be named...thank you for showing me the beauty in guinea pigs..(long story, metaphor yan..)...you two will forever be my kuyas in UPM...big thanks..alabshew!!

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farewell note (for you):
this will be your last day in my whole existence..and i quote from the notebook: "i'm not bitter anymore because i know that what we had was real.."..eventhough i am not quite sure what we really had..from this day on, my existence will not revolve around you anymore..you have been a short and bittersweet chapter of my life..and now that i have finished pouring my heart out..i am ready to let you go and give you up..(were we even really friends?!)...although, you will never stop existing in a certain, hidden part of me,i know that we will be both happier after this..(especially me..)..and i know that this will all be for the better...goodbye to you..(i hope you're hapy now..)