"I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT FROM NOW ON I WILL BE, AND WILL REMAIN TO BE,
A ONE MAN WOMAN"

scribbles..tired and empty...

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to the man who was never mine, not mine and will never be mine...

You fascinate me. You really do. It's not because you look good, you always do. It's not because you filled my world with wonder again, you have always done so. And now I have realized that never in my wildest imaginations and dreams were you mine, are you mine and will be mine...and I have lived with the pain of that reality for quite sometime now. I know that I can live with it for quite some more time until this feeling's gone. I know that it will be difficult. It has been for the past several months. I'm so used to feeling the pain that I am starting not to care at all. It's been really hard trying to forget you by having someone else pre-occupy me. Not only is it not fair to the person, who has not a single clue that he is my therapeutic object, but it has been hurting me more for I have, in all honesty and sincerity, have been falling for this man, who has been so good and so perfect, that he too I know will never be mine. It's sad though that all my supposed-to-be-for-you affection meets its bitter ending here. After all the struggle and after all the fighting, I finally surrender and raise my white flags, for no matter what i say, no matter what i do, i know i can't help myself...I WILL ALWAYS FALL FOR YOU. Over and over again. But, yes I know, I can never have you.

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to the girl who has been the secret enemy of my life...

You have everything already, why can't you spare me my happiness? Why can't you let me have him? What else that is in this world do you want? I can never be you, I can never be as perfect. I know that, and that makes everything worse. But why HIM? I know you could never love him the way I do, but if he would love you and if you would make him truly happy, then you can have him. And thus, I shall forever keep to myself these silly things, and forever remain a shadow. But if you cannot give him what he desrves, let alone what he wants, please give me a chance to try.

Loves and Kisses.

******

"Chaque fois que tu t'en vas...
Je simule que tout va bien...."

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