my summer vacation of still unkown number of days has officially begun...
but before that i would like to say a few thank you's

******

to MY BELOVED and GOOD LOOKING blockmates (SP 2010):

i love you to bits. all of you. thank you for a wonderful (yes naman, wonderful talaga!) year. i couldn't ask for anything better or greater than the year we had. the memories we shared in our first year of adventures in UP will forever be treasured. it was really a fantastic year for me! thank you so so much. thank you for putting up with me too. i know i'm not perfect and i can be a little bit of a lazy-macy sometimes, but you guys put up with me through it all. i know that the hardships are about to become harder and we're about to get as toxic as ever, but i couldn't ask for any other persons to go through all of it with than you guys. i know we will forever be there for each other. through thick and thin, walang tulog at kain...SP pa rin! (yes naman!)

*******

to da, czar, maic, majo, micole, minnie:

i love you girls. thanks for keeping me sane through all that work. (i have never had workload like that before!) thanks for all the afternoon lunchtime dates and all the laughing and sharing and singing and dancing and whining and horse-playing (demn! chemlab: no horse playing) and the ice cream sandwiches and bread talk and burger steak and coffee we had together. i'm so blessed i'm friends with 6 of the greatest girls in the world! i love you so so so so much. *hugs*

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to pauleen and kaycee:

i never knew we would be as close as we are. i love you both. yes, depite all the taunting and teasing and making fun, i love you both, oh so much. it was really great that we got to experience college together. you two are very special, and i love you both. *hugs*

*******

to michael and miggy:

you two are the kings of SP. i love you both. i know that being boys and spending so much time with girls (each and everyday) can sometimes be a little irritating, but you put up with us. i love you both! for all the jokes (corny or funny), for all the taunting and teasing (in tandem with kays and pols), for all the fun times we had...thanks so much! *hugs*

*******

to anton(mr. honorary blockmate):

haha! thanks for the iceberg experience after that awful chem exam. you have been a great part of all our lives. the kuya, the kabarkada, the mentor (???), the pasimuno, the kakulitan, the kakwentuhan..you have been all of that and more to me and to all of us. i love you! and may you continue to be as immature and mature, care-free and serious, young and old as you are at all times! *hug*

*******

to benjo, micki, kevin, dan, jr, kim:

guys! thank you for the fun times and the sad ones na din..(yes, micki and kim heart to heart talk?!) for all the teasing and taunting looks (benjo!!!), for those conversations i never really had with other guys (jr!!!), for all the fun and luaghter (kevin!!!) and for the secret hand shake that we both almost always forget about (dan!!!)..thanks guys! i love you all! *kisses*

*******

to my highschool friends:

i miss you guys, i'm sorry i didn't come to any of our 2nd sem dates. i know you guys understand. thanks for putting up with me. i will always love you.<3.>

i'm totally scared now. it's been months already but what i feel for you has not changed at all. things between us already changed, but i still remain attached to you and that kind of you that you allowed me to see. i never asked for it, i never expected it. you just happened. and i obviously fell head over heels. i don't know if a hate it or love it, all i know is that i just did. i really wanted to hold back, resist the feeling and not fall, but i just couldn't and now i'm a total wreck. i want to move on and leave everything behind, but everytime i find myself at the brink of doing so, i realize that everything that's happening only makes me fall for you even more. strange as it may sound, but i'm totally scared of you now. i'm scared to know that you don't feel the way i do, but i'm more scared to know that you feel the same way too. i hope you don't though. i really hope so. 'cause i know that it'll only make things more difficult and complicated. gahd. if only i can wish this feeling away. i don't want to be like this anymore.

*****

"Sometimes, it is not the possibility of rejection that frightens us. It is the thought of not knowing what happens next once you both find out that you feel the same way."

(my ate trying to sound profound)

*****

just tell me and i'll walk away for good. i'll be happy to do so, if that's going to make you happy. and if that's going to make things less complicated for you.
yes, that's how much i love you.

okay. i promised a political statement/essay/entry/whatever. so i'll try to do so now.

*****

first, may i just say that i am oh so relieved that bojit herrera won. it proves that UPM students are still critical and are not easily swayed by emotional narrow minded individuals who say the same things over and over again and who resort to mudslinging and black propaganda. bojit herrera, in my point of view, is one of the the few brilliant men in our generation.(and so is anton de leon,who unfortunately lost to another emotional being,a very great loss for CAMP.)

now lets get to the primary issue and reasons why i voted and campaigned for bojit.

issue: the Tuition Fee Adjustment. (popularly known to the tibaks as TOFI) an overused issue throughout the whole academic year. personally, i think that the Tuition Fee Adjustment is not a bad move, and regardless of whether i am for it or against it is already a non-factor, for it has been passed. okay, let analyze the situation here. people are against the TFA because as they say, it is against the rights of the filipino students to affordable and quality education. i am not against that right, i actually acknowledge that right as one of the most important ones. however, because of the decline in the quality of education offered in Public Schools all over the country, a great number of the UPCAT passers come from the private schools. thenwhat hapens? those who pay as much as P80,000 for their high school education end up in UP paying what? P6,000 per semester? the government is subsidizing the rich in this set-up. the tax payers are paying for the education of the children of the rich. now, is that fair? i say no. but what can we do if those who are poor will surely be affected by this adjustment? i say we the studentry and the BOR compromise. let us make this a win-win situation for everyone. let's use our weapon, and that is the STFAP. now as my dear friend kaycee farol explained, the TFA will be based on the inflation rate of the country and the STFAP on the income of our parents. thus, there will be no direct connetion between STFAP grants and the adjustments. now people are complaining that the parameters that the STFAP set are too unreasonable, and that's why we have to get involved. let's move to make it a reasonable one. how? again through negotiations and vigilance. you see, if we would be able come up with an STFAP bracketing that is suitable to the studentry and make sure that it is implemented properly, then i don't think we would have any problems at all. moreover, it would also be wise to update the STFAP yearly as to make the necessary adjustments. it is not always a matter of the government being anti-student or anti-education, it is also a matter of adapting to the changing world. now this is my primary reason for voting and campagning for kuya bojit. because he had a plan, a plan B in that sense. while mr. palogan did not have one. bojit presented himself as a forward leader, a leader who would not stagnate and spend valuable time on issues that he can't really do anything about. instead he thinks of what he can do to make things lighter. rainier was too backward for me. he kept on ranting about the same issue over and over again. he always said that he would continue to fight for the students rights. how he would do it was not really clear. moerover, rainier did not present his fellow students a PLAN B. an alternative plan if and when he loses the fight agianst what he called the TOFI. futhermore, he showed no competence whatsoever. he was there only as a mascot. i don't believe he ran because he really wanted to, rather because the people around him, who think they are gods and who do not really have the studentry's welfare in mind and only their personal wants, wanted him to. at an early age, h's already being corrupted, and that's just sad. really sad. rainier palogan will be a batter union leader than USC chair. Bojit Herrera will go beyond that of the USC, he is destined for greatness. his legacy starts now.

******

may i say thank you to mr.juan miguel mendoza, who, despite his "tamad ako magtext" attitude, spent all day texting me. from the time he wole up to the time he fell asleep (tinulugan ba naman ako?! haha. joke lang) haha. you will never know how much i appreciate it. and i know that youknow too much already, but i will never stop telling you things. haha! you are in fact my BAKLA and i want you to know that i love you and i will always be here for you no matter what. and tha ti appreciate everything about you. thank you so so mch for being a great friend!

*****

to USC Counciclor Abi Rei Lui Datuimam:

sayang! tapos na yung contest! haha! sana naka sali tayo! ang cute nung pic natin i swear! haha! we would've won! haha. oh well. and oh congrats! :)) i knew you would win.=p. and oh, we missed you during the temple tour. haha. hmm. we really wanted to see you enter a mosque. hehe. anyhoot, see you! :)

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dear mr.sadeyes,

it does not matter. even if you break up with her now, i will never be yours anymore. you blew your chance. i can never be in a relationship wherein i know in my heart that i was only the second option. i was really hurt the last time, and i never want to hurt that way anymore. i'm sorry, but no matter what you say or do, i'll never be with you. because i don't want to. we will forever remain friends, though...

it hurts more when you know that you lost to someone lesser than you.
whatever you have that is greater than that of your opponents' means nothing.
REALITY BITES.
I STILL THINK ANTON WOULD"VE BEEN A GREAT LEADER.
(and i would've been a better girlfriend to mr.sadeyes...)

*****


dahil mahal kita micki:

MAS GWAPO SI MICKI KESA SA DALAWANG DREAMBOYS

*****

it only takes a few moments to realize that you have fallen in love or that you have committed the greatest mistake.

i never wanted to fall in love with you. you were everything that i hated. everything that i despised in this world was in you. and i almost hated you. but in the funny twist of fate, i saw your light. brighter than any that i have seen before. it was like God was telling me that not everything i perceived was the case. and so i was happy. i really was. but then i had a glimpse on your darkness, a shadow of you i thought never existed. it was the most devastating event of my life. me seeing what i dreaded to see. and i almost hated you for that. no, i did hate you for that. but no matter how much darkness i see in you, i just cannot resist the light that shines from within you. it draws me back to you, each and every single time. and i hate you more for that, because no matter how flawed you are, you're still perfect to me. and no matter how you ignore me, i still want to be near you. and that no matter how much i deny it, i will always, always, end up falling for you. (but this will pass, right micki? this will all pass....)

*****

i'm suppose to post a political entry here, but i will do so in a later date. when everything's settled. and yes, i am pro bojit.

*****

I MISS YOU.

*****

AS INSPIRED BY MARIE MICOLE GOTAUCO

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

my SABAW letter to a friend in Boston. haha. sorry. CHEM sucked my brains out. LOL:

nothing much to miss. actually, my life can be summed up in to two, err, three words: family, school, BOYS. lol.

my lola died na nga pala. nung jan.31 lang. but it's all good. okay na kami.

school sucks. ang hirap. i'm this close to dying and/or committing suicide. i have been subjected to the worst of the worst academic/intellectual torture ever. and i have been conyofide by my blockmates and my zobel, AC, ateneo, southridge, CSA, whatever friends. haha. i rarely speak tagalog na. lol. bad. haha. i have no tagalog subjects pati,so i'm not compelled to speak tagalog, write tagalog or even think in tagalog in school. thus the magnitude of my english. so there. haha. i'm so so sorry for ranting out things to you. you see, it's 10:18pm right now here and i just got home. i barely had anything to eat the whole day,i haven't had dinner yet. worst of all, i have been subjected to yes, one of the academic/intellectual tortures, that regularly come, but surprisingly always surprises me. (OH YES! the magic of gahd demn UP. UGH.)

anyhoot, i have no current boyfriend but am having fun with a number of boys. (note having fun does not really mean or denote anything sexual, and or naughty). there's this scarcity of boys in my class. (trivia 4.1: out of the 30 blackmates i have,there are only 4 boys, 2 are friend types[i really love them], 1 is an intorvert, and the other one's just too much of a boy) thus, i have a lot of non-blockmate firends, majprity of which are very hot. (yes, from zobel, ateneo, csa and whatever, they come in bandwagons.) i consider myself lucky to be in their list of girl friends (yes, girl space friends), not being the prettiest nor hottest chick ever. HAHA! basta, i'm enjoying myself. i have a number of crushes, but all of them seem to see past through me. (yes, i do not exist in theri world/s, whatever the case maybe), but the point is, i'm enjoying. lol. REALLY ENJOYING. *insert more laughter here*

okay, i'm so sorry for the really really long reply to your message. i just really feel the need to rant and the most convenient way to do so is to type. LOL. and i'm pretty sure you have all the time in the world to read silly things like these. haha. anyhoot, i'm gonna post this message on my blog, haha. this letter is just too fantastic, i guess. ROFLMAO.

*okay, now insert sappy music here*
i really do hope your having the greatest of your time there. and i'm pretty sure you miss the philippines. i sure hope that you're alright too. a;ways remember that no matter where you are, if you have this (cursed?) country we all love to hate in your heart, you'll be alright. hope to hear from you soon. God bless! Ingat ka!(yes naman, tagalog.=p)

greetings! MABUHAY! haha.